


Don't want you

by Victoriawows



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Actor - Freeform, Ben Solo - Freeform, Ben is 33, Daddy Kink, Dark, F/M, Kylo Ren - Freeform, OFC - Freeform, Possessive Behavior, Sexy Times, Size Difference, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Smut, Underage - Freeform, Virginity Loss, original female character is 16, sensual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27500623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victoriawows/pseuds/Victoriawows
Summary: Violet is 16 years old and accompanies her Dad to the movie sets while he directs the films. Kylo Ren is an actor there playing a violent serial killer. Violet thinks he's just another face in the acting crowd, and Kylo's fascination with the Director's daughter turns out much more dangerous than anyone anticipated. Violet resorts to avoiding all contact with the dark brooding man whose eyes are too focused on her when he's meant to be working.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

Mondays and Tuesdays were absolutely boring. Boring, boring, and boring. Since Mom and dad split up, my usual schedule has been really messed up, besides my torn heart of course. Cause you know, when dad caught mom cheating on him, shit went flying straight hell. Obviously, my feelings don't matter to either of my parents because mom was too busy breaking both of our hearts to actually care. She always lectured me about safe sex, and being loyal to a relationship. 

Jesus Christ. But hey, what can you do. Anyways mom was too spreading her legs for her rich boss that she totally forgot that she was married and had a 16-year-old daughter who would feel absolutely fucking heartbroken if she ever found out. But ya know, when you're getting a good dick in the bosses office, all those years of commitment and that family you built up can go straight out the window. 

Usually right now, after school mom would drop me off to soccer practices. I no longer go to soccer practices, now. I couldn't stand seeing her, because every time I did, my heart would shatter over and over again. My interest in soccer has also vanished into thin air, and the only thing keeping me distracted was college homework, essays, and TikTok. Silly, I know. But hey Tiktok stuff was entertaining. 

I've been staying at dad's place really. Mom insisted I spend some time with her too, but I declined. I told her I didn't want to see her for a month. Mom and dad didn't even bother going forth with the divorce despite the split, I don't know why. And I don’t care.

When dad first started picking me up from school upon my request for him only, he had been rushing every day from work to school and then back to his apartment to drop me off. I asked him if it would be easier to get one of his drivers to pick me up, but dad refused. 

Dad's work is a 30-minute drive to my school so you could see why. I didn’t like driving despite having a restricted license and a car. I'm scared of the roads and the highways. Too many cars and rush hours are worse. I hate it. I preferred country roads and small towns and roads that were easier for me to go through. At Least then my anxiety wouldn’t go crazy. 

So here I am sitting in the back behind Dad. He’s behind his screen showing the actor's faces as they go through their script. The movie was some sort of horror and thriller based on an escaped extremely violent serial killer executing everyone in the asylum….something like that. It’s gory and cool and scary at the same time, but when they go over and over the same scene because dad’s a perfectionist then I get really bored. 

It also gets really stuffy in the warehouse where they have the set, dad ordered everyone not to put the aircon on. I alongside everyone protested but he said it makes the atmosphere better more realistic especially when the actors are bathing in sweat. It also smells, and the poor camera crew are silently working under the strain of the heat. When I read the temperature it was 30 degrees, and that was fucking hot. I joke to the lighting guy that he’s melting and he chuckles, “Your dad’s trying to kill us.” 

I agree. I get bored of my tablet and walk around away from the shooting of the scene and chat to everyone. They all seem exhausted as they started working from 3 in the morning and it was 6 pm now. But they had breaks of course. 2 hours in between so they could nap or eat. I chat with the makeup girl named Jess. She’s got long black hair, glowing caramel skin, and has a beautiful scent emanating from her. I compliment her perfume and she winks, “I made it myself.”  
“It smells amazing,” I reply back before chatting again about miscellaneous topics. She's been working for my dad for two years as part of his make up team for the actors. She enjoys her job, but she doesn’t have to tell me about the stress as I can see that the hours are ungodly.

“I’m glad I'm not getting into acting or anything like that,” I say. I mean after watching Dad work and his team look exhausted after every day, it really cements the idea that I will never get into the entertainment business. As much as I enjoy looking behind the scenes, I still wouldn't go for it especially since Dad and his work team have commented that I would make a good actress. As me and Jess continue to chat about what I wanted to do, I feel a large presence at my back. Someone tall and intimidating. I quickly turn around and see one of the actors who happen to be covered in a lot of blood, while the rest of him is in a ripped bloodied tank and white pants from the asylum uniform for the patients. 

“Oh sorry,” I quickly shift away from them so that Jess can fix his wound which is fake of course. I awkwardly stand there for a bit while Jess glances at me and smiles. She's putting more red paint on his fake wounds across his arms and then she motions for someone to bring her a stool so could reach his face. Is he what six foot 4? I think to myself. I don't see many tall people in the sets. “So uh, I'll talk to you later Jess,” I say. I turn to walk back to my chair, when Jess comments, “Violet have you met Kylo yet?” 

I turn around fully and see that they have both turned to me. She continues to add fake blood to his mask. He's got a curious look on his face, dark eyes searching once I meet his gaze. He’s got a weird face, I think to myself. How rude, I added mentally. “Um no, I haven't?” I don't remember actually, there were several stunt people in the movie and sometimes I have a hard time wondering who the actual actor or actress is simply because I get distracted with the setting, chatting to the camera crew and Jess, bantering with Dad and going through my tablet. Also not to mention there were roughly 500 people involved in the movie, of course not all of them at once in one day but spanning the weeks that they were filming. 

“No, sorry I haven’t,” I reply. She grins.

“Kylo this is Violet. She seem familiar to you?” She asks him. 

He shakes his head slowly, “No…” He trails off a little confused. Which makes sense of course he probably thinks I’m one of the extras. 

“Really?” Jess rolls her eyes. “Should I tell him?”

I shrug. 

“That’s John’s daughter. Mr, I don't want no aircon guy and Mr Director.” Jess jests. 

Kylos eyes slightly widen, recognition dawning on his face as he takes in my features. “True, I see no resemblance whatsoever.” He speaks in a really deep voice. It suits him though, cause he's a gigantic person. I guess it would be funny if he spoke in a really high voice. The thought makes me want to giggle. 

“Yeah, that’s me,” I reply lamely. I kind of feel my anxiety coming up but I do my best to stifle it. After some awkward seconds later, I add, “so you're one of the stunts people?”

Jess makes a noise of amusement, and Kylo nods his head, “Yeah, yeah I am.” He gives me a slight upturn of his lips and Jess smacks him in the arm earning a grunt. 

“No, he's not. He’s Adam, the main killer.” Jess adds in. “He just has stunts people act for him while he goes and does the actual killing when no one is looking,” she jokes again. 

I smile, “ Hard to get away with killing when you're the size of Hagrid.” I commented.

Kylos face drops and then he gives me a serious look that makes my stomach drop. His eyes are obsidian and his features looked menacing for a moment. Okay, he actually looked like he was going to suffocate me. “You calling me fat?” 

A few seconds passed and I unexpectedly burst out in laughter with Jess joining in. Okay, I didn't expect that. But his face slackens and he smiles, “You should have seen the look on your face.”

Jess continues with the blood, “Ignore him, he’s just showing off.”

I faked a sigh, “ that scared me for a bit. You actually suit the role of being the actual killer cause that was terrifying.”

“Thank your dad for that, he saw me in the Makers of Death franchise and rang me to get into this role.” Makers of death?

Telling by the look on my face, he raises his brows and turns to Jess. “She actually doesn't know does she?” I look at Jess and she shrugs.

“She’s a younger generation.” 

“Sorry, never heard of it,” I added in. 

Kylo gives me a strange look, “ You can't be too young.”

“You're an old man Kylo, what are you talking about?” Jess teases. “The franchise came out almost eleven years ago.”

He licks his lips and then frowns, “Well I mean… I was in my early twenties and I’ve just entered 30’s so I'm not that old.” Jess hums at him in reply and then says, “33 you mean.” She turns to me. 

“Your 19 or twenty? Right?” Jess guesses, and I almost pee my pants in laughter. I shake my head as Kylo adds, “ 24? 18?”

I shake my head, “Nope absolutely nowhere near it. And come on Jess you should have remembered by now.”

Jess puts her hands up, “ Hey hey hey, I haven't gotten more than six hours of sleep since I started working with your dad, so forgive me if my memory loss is that of a dementia patient.”

I roll my eyes. Before I reply Dad's loudspeaker voice echoes through the warehouse startling a few crew members, “I am looking for my main actor Mr Ren. Get your fat ass back to the set please. Time is money people, and would someone please get me a mango smoothie. The heat is killing me. Please add in a lot of ice. Also hey YOU! Your going to break that -”

A few people grumble and Kylo huffs. “Back to the boss man.” Just before he leaves he stops by me and asks, “ so what's the number?”

I shrug, “Does it matter?” 

He smiles. Hmm, he's got really full lips, mom would be so jealous. While she pays at least thousands of money on getting lip injections this guy is walking around looking like a natural Angelina jolie. 

Dad's voice is heard again and this time he's really annoyed, “ Kylo stop talking to my daughter and get back to the set. Violet stop distracting the crew.” I shrink back embarrassed and make a haste apology before slinking back to my chair. 

“See yah later Violet,” Jess says before I wave goodbye. 

Kylo makes his way back to the set as he rolls his shoulders and tilts his head from side to side. I make a note in my head that he’s quite a broad human being and he's so tall that he dwarfs everyone he passes by. 

When I sit back down Dad gives me a disciplinary look to stay in my seat, before turning back to the scene. “Action!” 

I don't pay any attention and go back to my tablet. “Shit,” I muttered to myself when I remembered that I had math homework. I groan. I hate maths. It was also with the fact that I was terrible at it. 

Three hours later and everyone prepares to go home. Dad’s busy talking to some actress who did not learn her lines, and some of the actors depart to strip off their makeup and fake blood. The set looked absolutely gory and the only thing that looked clean was the ceiling. Kylo ambles his way towards my dad, catching his attention and they get into a conversation. 

I start packing my things such as my tablet, phone, books and water bottle into my bag and then stretch. The chair was comfortable but not that comfortable. Ever since dad gave me the talk about not distracting the crew members when I sat down, I didn't bother to leave the seat. I was absolutely bored, but he knew that. 

I glance back waiting for Dad, and he motions to me. Kylo watches me walk towards them before turning back to my dad. I start moving towards them wondering why they were taking so long. I wanted to go home, eat, do my maths homework, and go to sleep. I felt exhausted for some reason. 

I also wanted to use my phone but Dad’s strict no phone at work policy also applied to me. I mean I had no interest in leaking the details of some horror movie. I mean it didn't have that Jennifers body vibe. God I wish dad worked with Megan fox someday. 

“Violet, come here. Take the keys and go wait in the car.” Dad hands me his keys and his bag. I take it and then by the look on my face he softens. “You tired hun? Ill be finished soon, I’m just talking to Kylo here and then well be off in about ten minutes.” I nod and then say goodbye to Kylo. He nods back and then turns back to Dad. 

I say goodbye to everyone and make my way out the exit. I’m so exhausted by the time I get into the car, I shut my eyes and take a nap. When I wake up, Dad’s just pulled up into the apartment parking lot. “Hey hun were here now. You go inside and Ill carry the stuff,” he says and I nod. 

After 30 minutes of showering, getting into pajamas and having pizza, I jump on to the bed. It’s warm and fluffy and the gazillion pillows around my head makes me swoon. “God I love my bed.” Just as I'm about to doze off there's a knock at the door. “Come in.”

The doors open and Dad’s head pokes in, “ Sorry sweetheart, but I forgot to tell you something.”

“Yeah?” I sit up. “What is it?”

“You know Kylo?” He asks. “Remember him?”

I shrug back, “yeah?” I have no idea why were talking about Kylo but it’s probably going to be about how I should avoid talking to the crew members, especially the main actor. 

“Well I was talking to him, and He's got an apartment 15 minutes away from your school.”

He lets it sink in and I'm really confused. “So? Why are you telling me this.?” 

Dad scratches his nose, “ Sweetheart the next two weeks Is going to be very busy for the production team and me. Most of the days I can’t afford to leave anymore to pick you up from school and because Kylo wont be there from midday I think you can catch a ride to work. He starts at 4 pm but I spoke to him and he doesn't mind starting an hour earlier.”

I raise my hand up to stop him, “Your telling me you're going to get some random guy-”

Dad cuts in “Kylo is not a random guy, I've known him for at least a year now.”

I scoff, “ Less than a year, dad. I spoke to him once Dad! Once!”

He sighs, “Sweetheart its only for two weeks. He passes by the school on his way and he can pick you up on the way. It sounds fair enough for both of us.”

I scowl. “I told you just to get that driver guy you sometimes have to pick me up! You're paying him anyway even when he's not working!” So the driver guy was Mr. Samuel, and he seemed really nice. He was also good looking, which was why I wanted him to drive me from school to work. Which was exactly why Dad refused to have him drive me. He’s been driving for my dad at least for a few months now. He was blonde, in his twenties and had chocolate brown eyes that I could just melt in. I mean I had a feeling Dad didn’t trust him with me. 

But I mean, Kylo? Really? 

A few minutes later Dads shut the door on the way out annoyed and irritated, while I huffed into my pillows. 

Fucking helll. I barely knew Kylo and now Dad wanted him to take me from school to work! God, people from school were going to think I had a fricken sugar daddy. I scream into the bed and then force myself to go to sleep. 

That night I dreamt of running. I was running away from something, heart beating in my chest as I tripped and fell over the branches in the forest. Just as I got back up a heavyweight fell over my back and a hand roughly slammed my head back into the soil. I gasped and struggled to move from underneath the heavyweight when someone whispered harshly into my ear. “Hello, gorgeous. Your fast, but not fast enough!” Suddenly I’m being tossed around and faced with a bloody face. I scream bloody murder before something loud and sharp screams into my ear. 

I gasp my mouth open and sweat beading down my temple when I realize that I had a nightmare. My alarm is blaring loudly in my ear and then Dad is telling me through the door to get up. I grab my uniform and get ready when I remember Dad's conversation last night. I almost cry in annoyance before meeting him down in the kitchen for breakfast. 

I argue with him again before he drops me off to school. When I arrive at the gates, I curse my existence and swear underneath my breath as I look for my friends. I tell them what happened and they roll their eyes. “Kylo, you are seriously telling me you would not want a ride with friken Kylo Ren?!” My friend Bella almost shouts. “Bloody hell, Kylo Ren Violet! The hottest guy I drooled over in the Makers of Death franchise!?” She almost drops her drink when I reveal this and Ryan whose beside me shakes his head in disbelief.

I've known them since the start of high school and they have been the best friends I have ever had. But right now they were annoying me. “I've never seen that Franchise. Isn’t it old?” Bella gives me another scathing look, “ Your fucking kidding me right. It’s like saying star wars is for old people.” I shrug. “Star wars is not, its a classic.”

Ryan interrupts equally annoyed and flustered, “Your dad was literally best friends with the director of the Makers of Death franchise. Like what the hell Violet, you didn't even watch it?”

I shake my head, “I mean come on guys. Kylo’s not that attractive really, I mean he's not my type. And so what if I haven't seen the Makers of Death. It cant be that bigger than Twilight.” 

I yelp when I get a smack in the arm by Ryan and Bella. “I just can't, I really can't,” Bella says in disbelief. “The Makers of Death was bigger than Twilight, better, phenomenal and just….better in every way. Twilight will never compare.”

When class starts, I end up nearly falling asleep in class. 

I wasn't looking forward to rides with Kylo. I mean, dad's other driver Samuel would have sufficed. But may I can convince him again I guess.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day after school, I refuse to talk to dad. He senses I’m upset about yesterday but he doesn't care. I mean what the hell. He mutters under his breath about ‘stubborn daughter just like her mother’ which makes me more mad. Bringing up mom was a bad idea because we ended up arguing again in the car on his way to work. I tell him I want to be dropped off at the apartment but he doesn’t relent, instead he turns up the radio with ‘I’m a savage’ playing quite loudly in my ear. 

It’s almost ridiculous because dad hates trending music or pop or rap. But when Dad’s annoyed or also angry at me he will do anything to distract him from growling me off again. When we arrive at his work he leaves me in the car red face and splotchy. The car park is full as always with many people outside the big warehouse rushing around busy with their tasks. A few people are carrying props outside and I slink further down into my seat. I no doubt look like a mess and I don't want to be seen. 

I decide to check the mirror and of course, I look like I have been weeping for my dead husband. So now I’m a widow. A few strands of my curly black hair is hanging from my messy ponytail and I push it back. My mascara is a mess, so I wipe my face with the makeup wipes from my bag and then reapply it on. Because I was feeling extremely moody I added kohl liner. I jump to the back of the car and change into a tank and shorts. I hated the uniform, it was ugly. 

Sweat was dripping from my temple as I opened the car. I was thinking of staying in the car, but the heat would be too much. Grabbing my bag I make my way across the parking lot and greet a few people on the way. Some assume I’m an extra and some don't care, but I don’t mind. 

Today despite arguing with dad, my anxiety wasn’t feeling all too bad. In the morning it had started to spike, so I had taken some turmeric capsules and had a glass of kefir. For some reason, those seemed to work after years of experimenting with different diets to see which had the most positive impact on my anxiety. My friends think I'm weird for it, but hey, when your desperate to fix some things, you end up trying a whole bunch of different stuff. Walnuts and broccoli were another plus. They were an everyday part of my lunch. 

When I reach the big warehouse doors, I spot a few people I recognize. There’s a big crane on the side of the warehouse, a few makeup and craftspeople are surrounding dad. It looks like a big meeting. More and more people join as I approach. I recognize some stunt people and the actors. I also see Jess but at the angle, she’s positioned at, she doesn’t see me. It didn’t help that I’m also short. Thanks to Dad’s genes, but hey, maybe Ill grow a bit more later. 

I hear a slow murmur and then see a blonde tall woman beside dad. She looks very serious and very intimidating. She speaks in a British accent, but the tone of her voice is very grave. “-It seems we received a complaint about some inappropriate behavior witnessed this noon, and I would like to address it. Please listen carefully, it is a very serious matter. This is a place of work, not a place for you or whoever you're with to violate our professional policies so that you can get your dick wanked in the back of the storage room area. It is shameful.” She gives another deadly look, “Get that shit sorted elsewhere. We have already dealt with the two involved and they will no longer be working here so I hope that is a warning enough.”

I literally feel my mouth drop in shock. Somebody wanked in the storage room? I have to tell my friends this. This is ridiculous. 

Dad cuts in, “For fucks sake guys, I don't ever want to see that shit here, if I do, you better pray I have mercy on your ass because you won't ever have a job again in the entertainment business or whatever business there is in the future. Do you all understand? And really? My daughter is here. There are children of actors and extras that come to this place, we are lucky that there were no young ones here today. Remember I also have a kid here, so don't do any weird shit or I’ll drag your ass to hell and back.”

Some people were sniggering, and some looked shocked. Others agree and murmur ‘disgusting behavior.’ It’s a good thing there are no sex scenes in this movie. 

I mean I’m not a prude or anything and have read a few eroticas, but I’m pretty sure dad would not bring me to work if there were sex scenes being made. And it’s not like I want to ask dad either. Ew. 

When the meeting is over, Dad spots me and then tells me to come over. He points to the chair where I usually sit. “Go there and avoid going to places by yourself around here. Do you understand?” He commands more than asks. 

I nod and then shrug. I mean I really dont go anywhere than necessary, besides the bathroom of course. “Aren’t there cameras Dad?” 

“Yes there's cameras but that’s not the point. People will be stupid regardless of cameras. If somebody acts weird or you do something inappropriate you run to me and tell me.” He says.

“Sure dad.” 

I walk away and approach my chair. Dad goes back to directing people to their tasks. I sit down and opened my tablet deciding that I should probably do some revision on the art history test that was coming up. After twenty minutes of that I grab my tablet pen and start drawing random faces or objects I see around in the set. 

I hear a few voices behind me and then Jess calling me. I turn around and see her approaching. She’s wearing a bright floral dress contrasting against her caramel skin. The scent of frangipani and ocean reached me. Damn that smells good I think. Her curly honey-colored hair is in a ponytail just like mine. 

“Hey girlie there you are, were you here for the meeting?”

I nod. “Yep I heard everything about somebody wanking in the storage room.”

She slaps her hand over her mouth and looks around. I hear a choked nose and I spot the light guy Isaac’s shoulder shaking with laughter. He’s adjusting something when he turns to me and he’s smirking but he turns back when Dad walks by. A few people from the setting are glancing at me once they heard my statement and my ears turned slightly red from embarrassment. 

Okay, I shouldn't have been that loud. Me and my big mouth. 

“Jesus girl,” Jess chuckles and then her face turns serious, “Don’t go around here by yourself alright?”

I mean it's not like I go around anyway. “Yeah dad told me, and trust me, I don't want to have nightmares about it.”

Jess agrees then relaxes before quietly saying. “Yeah we have a few loose screws working here, so I advise you to be very careful. Usually we don't have issues like these but once in a while something is bound to happen. You can trust me and Kylo really. Anyways how was school?”

I shrug especially when she mentions Kylos name, “It was boring really, nothing much. History, science and maths. All the topics I’m really bad at.” 

She then asks me what I enjoy and I tell her art. Drawing etc. I love it all. Just not acting. Then we chat about her day. She mentions having a minor argument with her team members, disagreeing about certain actors makeup looks for the scene. Dad had to interrupt before makeup brushes went flying everywhere. I grimace. 

But they settled the matter when Dad chose the look really. But other than that her day wasn’t so exciting. She talks about being exhausted, but her passion for her job overrides everything and which motivates her to come. And it helps that she's ten minutes away from work. 

As we continue to chat, a brunette man with long wavy hair like Kylos approaches. He’s got a defined look, very model-like features. He's got a strong jaw, broad and high cheekbones and pale grey eyes with flawless skin. I wouldn't have noticed him if he were not so intent on approaching Jessica. He walks with a purpose and when Jessica follows my line of sight, she raises her brows and then the corner of her lips turn down a bit. She murmurs, “Damn it not him again.”

Before I ask who he is, he reaches us both. “Hello Jess I was looking for you.” His voice is deep and soothing, and if he were not so old I would have definitely crushed on him. 

Jess’s smile looks forced, “Hey Vicrul, sorry I was- am busy…” She bites her bottom lip in nervousness. A habit I also had when feeling anxious. 

Vicrul towers over us like Kylo as well but not so much. I wonder who he is and maybe he's one of her make up team?

I decided Jess doesn’t like him because she’s inching away from him, her body language shows he’s not welcome to her space but he continues to talk while oblivious to her discomfort. “There’s a group of us going this weekend to a new bar opening up down Queens street. A few from the camera crew and you're makeup team is also invited. The first round of drinks will be free since a good friend of mine owns the bar. Would you be interested?”

It takes a considerable amount of time for Jess to say something, and she sounds hesitant. “I’m not exactly sure, because I have - I have a-”

“Me and her are having a slumber party,” I butted in. “We're watching the Makers of Death franchise. Have you seen it? I think there’s a guy named Kylo in it who works here. Tall, big nose, handsome? I think. Built like a truck. Well yeah if you haven’t met him, you should. So yeah. So I’m not sure she’s going to be going, sorry.”

Jess and Vicrul are both looking at me in slight surprise. Jess has a small smile on her face, and relief also. While Vicrul clears his throat. “Yeah, Kylo. He’s a friend of mine.” 

Shit. I hope he doesn't tell Kylo I said he had a big nose. It was mean of course, but the words came flying out of my mouth before I could stop. Plus, I felt like helping Jess, I've never seen her this uncomfortable. 

He frowns, body slightly turning to me, “You Johnny's daughter?” He asks. 

“Yep,” I replied back. Did he call Dad Johnny? Weird.

Jess quickly joins in, “Yes, sorry Vicrul. I already made plans with Violet, maybe another time?” Although her tone tilted up I could still see she didn't want next time. 

A look of disappointment passes through his face, before shrugging. “Very well, next time then.” He wishes her farewell and then reluctantly leaves. 

Jess’s shoulders relax and she turns to me with a genuine smile, “Thank you for that, you really did me a favor. “

“Not your type?” I ask her. 

She hesitates before answering, “I mean he seems very nice, but I just think it wouldn’t work. Were very different, and….well-”

“He’s bad in bed?” I ask in a quiet voice.  
She flushes red, and then shakes her head, “Oh no, no. It’s not that, we've never been,”

“It’s okay you don't have to tell me the details. “ Okay yeah, I was super curious but by the look of my face, she smiles before looking around and turning back to me. 

“Actually I'll tell you later, everything and my situation with Vicrul. We are having a slumber party right?” She teases. 

“Yes definitely. Now that I think about it, Dad's driving me crazy and me and mom are not on speaking terms. My friends are out this weekend too on family trips. Is that a plan then?” 

She nods back.

“Sure thing girly. Also and yeah, Dad told me you're sixteen. Damn girl I didn't realize you were that young.” Jess comments.

“Ha, I know. You guys are all old,” I joke.

She laughs and then acts offended, “If I’m old which I’m not, only 23 actually then damn,-”

A deep baritone voice interrupts, “I must be ancient then.” 

I startle and turn my head to see Kylo. He's wearing all black. Black long sleeve top and long black jeans despite the heat. Today he is free of make up and wounds. 

He's really pale.

This up close he's really large, and I feel like a bug. I don’t like it. The memory of Dad telling me I have to catch a ride with him from school immediately sours my mood. “Oh hi.”

Jess smirks, “ Come on Ben, now you ruined her mood.” He rolls his eyes. 

I wonder if Dad talked to him already. I’m about to ask when Jess’s name is being called over from the other side. “Sorry, guys I have to go, see you later Violet. Oh and Kylo don’t scare the poor girl.” She turns to me and winks and then quickly leaves. “Yeah yeah I'm coming, stop calling me already. “

I fidget under his gaze and then he speaks to break the silence. “If Jess hadn’t said so, then I never would have guessed Jonathan had a daughter.” 

“Yeah me too." He gives out a rumbling laugh when I realize what I've said. I feel my anxiety rising back up and I pick up my bottle to drink away the dryness in my throat.

What should I say to him? I'm not really good at conversations with certain people and I'm pretty sure he's a nice man but Kylo gives off intimidating energy. 

"So you're enjoying the movie so far?" I ask him and screw the lid of my bottle back on. Unfortunately, my water has gone warm. Thanks to Dad and his no aircon which is annoying.

"Yeah, it's not a typical horror movie although I admit I have never been covered with so much fake blood before since working with your dad. " He says. "Very interesting experience. Also I may need hearing aids once I'm finished. "

I nod, smirking a bit. That was definitely dad. I use to talk to dad about how he spoke to people sometimes and that he often came across like an asshole, but Dad gave me a word about it. "I take my job really seriously Violet, and as your father I I know that you see that my passion can come across very harsh to others, but if I don't take my job seriously no one else will. " 

I still don't agree that he should shout at people on the team. "Yeah, I think I'm already deaf in my right ear," I reply back and Kylos lips turn upwards. 

"Make no mistake though, that your father is a very hard worker and quite interesting to work with." 

I hum back, "Yeah I guess." A few extras walk by and some turn to stare at Kylo. He gives them a wave, but they're too awestruck to say anything. I can feel that some of them are tempted to ask for autographs but their contracts are strict. 

Till this day, I've only seen one of his movies in the past. A movie I barely remember. It was a sleepover at Bella's place. She wanted to watch one where he was in it but I didn't really care too much. I was too focused on the weed cookies her brother had left in the cupboard. 

"So, " he paused and then continued, "Your father has spoken to me about how you need a ride for the next two weeks. After this weekend?. I'm presuming he's spoken to you about it?" He frowns, dark eyes darting across my face. Up close I can see the freckles across his cheeks and a hint of a beard coming through. 

I consider the fact that he's not ugly, or conventionally attractive, but that he has a big nose and it suits his face. Yikes, Vicrul is going to tell him. 

Hes going to be offended. But I did say he was handsome too, so I mean that could cancel that one out. 

"I, yeah." Telling by the hesitation on my face he clears his throat. 

"I did tell him that maybe one of his driver's could come through and give you a ride, but-"

I finish the sentence for him, "Did he just shake his head and avoid the topic entirely?" 

Kylo nods, "Yeah, he did that. I know it's kind of strange because we've barely spoken. ""

"Yeah, it's okay. I mean I was hesitant at first but its only two weeks so its going to be fine."

Liar. I absolutely did not like the idea and still don't like the idea. But I smile anyway, the kind of smile that looks suspicious and normal at the same time. 

Our conversation steers towards what my school routine is usually like. I keep it vague and he does the same. All I know is that he has worked on a few movies in the past besides his big Makers of Death franchise. A series of movies I still don't know what the hell it's about, because I never bothered to research or ask. 

But he doesn’t elaborate on it. A few minutes passed, and he has to leave on an errand. I say bye and get back to my tablet. 

I notice the faint lingering scent of Kylos perfume. It’s dark, masculine and it suits him. It smells like traces of sandalwood, leather, bergamot and something else I can’t identify. 

I ignore it of course but I'm a sucker for good perfumes. It felt intimate in a way, but hey, we're talking about Kylo here and I’m going to be riding from school with him for two weeks. The last thing I need was to think about how he smells or how good-nope. 

I hope that those two weeks will go by as smoothly as possible. Smoothly and fast. Hopefully very fast.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It's a friday and Jess has messaged me about the sleepover. I'm sitting in class listening to Mr Jackson’s boring tone of voice as he speaks about an event during history. Of course most of the topics are interesting but for some reason his voice just makes everyone want to go to sleep. 

I'm struggling to keep my eyelids open. I have my phone next to my book and I check it now and then before deciding to leave for the bathroom. Bella’s sitting in front of me in her desk and I can tell by the slump of her head against her arms that she’s completely gone. 

Outside the window I can see the soccer field where Ryan is happily playing. I kind of miss soccer, but I get my exercise from using the gym at Dads apartment now. 

When I arrive at the bathroom, I check up on my makeup. I take my time and I fix my eyeliner and dab a bit of gloss on my lips. I see there’s a hint of redness from a pimple forming on my left cheek which makes me annoyed. 

I have been stressed lately and the only time I get pimples is when my body is run down. I did sleep relatively late last night. Somewhere between 3 and 4 am in the morning. I don't know why but it must my period coming soon. 

I check the time and see there’s 20 minutes of class which makes me wanna cry. I make a slow pace back to class. I enter the room and see Mr Jackson is still committed to the boring tone hes using. 

I avoid making eye contact with people since im always a bit anxious in class. Just before sitting down I hear my name spoken in a soft tone. I’m sitting abit further back right in the corner. When I turn to my left I see Collins staring at me. He smiles and raises his brows and gives me a slight wave. His friends are smirking and watching me as well. It makes me uncomfortable. 

I fake smile before turning back to the front, ignoring him. 

Collins was one of the popular kids. He had short cropped dark hair and a hint of tan. He was good looking in a boyish way but wasn’t my type. No one in school is my type. I blame the fanfictions and obsessions with certain films. 

I’m to busy daydreaming again when I hear my name again in a low tone. It’s Collins again. He asked me out once, a few months back and I told him I wasn’t interested. 

We were not friends before that, and I think he had a crush on me from afar.

I turn to him again and he passes me a piece of paper. His friends are grinning. 

I grab it off of him and see that he's scrawled out something that I can barely decipher in his handwriting. ‘Party at my house tonight at 7?’ It says after a long time of me trying to make out the letters. 

Hell no, I think. 

Folding it neatly I quickly come up with some excuse. Oh actually there was Jess’s sleep over so I can't go aniways.

“Sorry Collins, I’m staying over with friends tonight. I can’t come.” I say as I hand back the paper. 

Collins' disappointment is evident but he shrugs, “That’s okay. Maybe next time?” He asks hopefully. 

I nod back and then turn around. 

When class finally finishes I pack my books. I can tell Collins is waiting a bit longer than usual at the back, because he's usually first to get out of class. I really don't want to hear what else he has to say.

I poke Bella in the side, and she wakes. 

She rubs her eyes, “Jesus that was a great sleep.” She yawns and I smile. Strands of her hair is loose around her face, so I push it back. “Thanks,” she responds before standing up. 

Her eyes dart back to the room and spot Collins. She turns back to me and motions with her head from me to him. 

Collins clears his throat awkwardly. I sigh. 

I probably should ask what he wants since it's clear hes waiting for me. Bella watches the both of us and sees the look of uncertainty and anxiousness rising on my face. Instead of excusing us both I nod for her to go. She hesitates and her eyes dart to Collins before returning to my face. She gives a reluctant nod and exits the classroom. 

“Hey Violet, um,” Collins nervously scratches at the back of his neck, “I was thinking maybe since your not available to go to the party, we could uh, we could hang out someday? Maybe like after school and watch a movie?” He asks, as he shifts from one foot to the other. 

It seems he was nervous too. I take a moment to consider his request knowing fully well I was going to decline him. My palms were getting sweaty. 

“Um, I-” I start to clog up, throat swallowing air as I realise I’m so anxious that It feels like I’m about to cry.

“I’m seeing someone?.” I say forcefully almost as If I didn’t believe my own words. 

His shoulders slump and his face drops, “Oh.” Hes flushing pink and then responds, “That's okay, I um. I just thought you were um. Yeah.”

“Yeah, hes um not from here. Its been a few weeks now.” The lies come out and I force myself to continue, “I- we could be friends?” I ask.

“Uh, sure I don't mind.” His face says otherwise and I dont blame him. Getting declined by your crush is sad but I couldn’t force myself to go out with someone I barely spoke to and didn't like.

When the awkwardly painful conversation is over I exit the class with Collins behind me to see Bella leaning against the wall with her head propped near the doorway. When Collins says goodbye and is out of sight we both look at each other. 

“ You're seeing someone?” Bella questions, eyes glinting. 

I adjust my hair and fan my face. The sweat beading on my temple. “Well..no”

Bella smirks, “You little sneaky liar.” She places her arm around my shoulder, “What if he finds out you're a single pringle huh?”

I roll my eyes, “He won't.”

Bella grins and leans in to my ear, “You could always say you're seeing someone name Kylo. After all, he’s going to be giving you rides for the next two weeks.” 

I glare at her, “Are you serious? Kylo is way too old and he’s not my type.” Jesus, this was the last thing I needed. 

She huffs, “I’m literally so jealous of you right now. Bloody hell who cares about how old Kylo is. I would let him nail me anyday-”

Shocked at her statement I turn to her, “That would be classified as raping a minor. You're like a few months younger than me Bella. Jesus. And I’m 16! That is so wrong on so many levels with Kylo being thirty something.”  
My words don't have any impact on her and she replies back in a low voice, “You already know that I've fucked guys who are just over twenty. It’s not that bad, and plus if no one finds out, then everything's fine.”

I shake my head in disbelief, “It doesn't make it right Bella. I worry about you when you do stuff like that. These men are literally pedofiles do you know that?” 

She swats me away, “I don’t want to go to deep into it Violet, but hey,” She looks at her watch, “Ill see you later. Skype me tonight cause I have to go to a doctors appointment.

When Bella leaves I mull over her words. It upsets me of course. Her sleeping with those assholes who should be in jail and her thinking it’s okay. The possibility that Kylo might do something to me, which he will absolutely not!

I think about ways I can fight back. I’ll shove a foot so far up his ass, he wont be able to sit down for weeks. I don't care if he's a famous actor, or he’s been involved in blockbuster movies. I don't. I may crush on older guys but considering my age I would not pursue anything rather than look but don't touch. 

When Dad picks me up, I fake being sick because I don't want to go with him to work. He drops me off to his apartment, and I immediately prepare myself. I shower, pack my bags, and put on pyjamas. I’m excited for Jess’s sleepover since it will be just us two. 

After a few hours, Dad gets home grumpy. Something about how one of the extras fought with the other extra on the scene.

I speak with him about Mom. How she messaged me before I got home that she wanted to see me. I told her no. Dad sighs and says maybe just have coffee with mom since she misses me.

Which I replied with a huge no. When the month is over then Ill see how I feel anyway. 

I then change subjects and tell him I feel better but he gives me a sceptic look. “Are you sure? What if you feel sick again?” I convince him I won't. 

When he drops me off at Jessica's place, she's wearing floral pyjamas. Her apartment is nice. The walls are baby pink, and her furniture is in pastel colors. It has a beautiful scent, which reminds me of the ocean and tropical flowers. 

After Jess has given me a tour, we start making cookies, and muffins. It’s fun and it reminds me of when Mom would come home from work and we would bake together. It makes me sad for a moment before I ignore it and go back to making muffins. 

After that we order sushi. It comes pretty fast since her apartment was next to the sushi store. Its fun talking with Jess. I wish she was my sister. We talk for hours until its midnight. 

I ask her about Vicrul. She explains that they met on set. He was a friend of Kylos who sometimes came to visit Kylo. One day Vicrul had approached her randomly and started chatting. She thought at first he was handsome and they seemed to hit it off until a few dates later. 

On the second date she noticed that he was intense. His gaze, the way he would look at her. She felt like prey and not in a good way. But he was funny when he wasn't trying. She liked it when he smiled, and when he would compliment her. But for some reason she said it was his eyes that disturbed her. She didn't feel warmth when she looked at them.

There were other things though. He was a very precise, strict and orderly man. He followed a strict routine. He wanted things exactly in the way he wanted. While she was the opposite. She liked spontaneous adventures, she wasn’t fussed about things being exactly the same way and what if her routine wasn’t the same. 

When he invited her to her place, she saw that the interior of his home was cold. White walls, white kitchen, white furniture and white marbles. There were no personal belongings in sight, no decor that would suggest warmth but instead everything felt cold and clinical.

She saw his personality and taste and knew that they wouldn’t make a good long term couple. She liked color but he didn’t. So she told him that they were too different and that they wouldn’t last if they got into a relationship. 

Since then she had avoided his calls, his emails and seeing in person. But he kept approaching her and asking to meet again. 

While Jess is telling me her story, her doorbell rings. Confused, she glances at the clock and its one oclock.

“You have visitors?” I ask. 

She shakes her head, “No. I don't. Its late I would definitely not have visitors at this time.” She stands up and approaches the door with me behind her. 

There’s the sound of harsh talking behind the door, and she unlocks it and opens it slowly. The first thing I see is Vicrul. 

Speaking of the devil.

“Vicrul?” Jess asks her tone laced with confusion and suspicion. “What are you doing here?”

The stench of whiskey is the first thing I smell. And my eyes water. Vicrul looks absolutely drunk. His hair is mussed, eyes are red and he struggles to stand properly. He is exactly the opposite of when I saw him last. Tall, composed businessman like and all that. 

Well, the man that stood before me looked nothing of the sort. 

He’s no longer standing tall and proud with his posture upright, instead he looks like he had spent a lonely night washing down his stomach lining with pure Tennessee whiskey. Jesus Christ, “Hey Jess- I juh thot I would-” he hiccups and almost falls backwards if it weren't for Jess grabbing on to him. He’s wearing a dress shirt that looks rumpled, and dress pants that look like they've been ripped down the side. “Jesus Christ,” Jess swears. 

I go on to his other side and help her move him into the room and onto the couch. He's muttering something unintelligible and I look at Jess who looks annoyed, worried and irritated. “How did you get here?” she asks him. 

He shrugs, eyes drooping, “I came, to see. Walked over.” He lurches up and Jess yelps.

“I got it!” I run in to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then I hear the sound of vomiting.

Jess wails, “Nooooo my pink new rug!!!!!!!!”

I cringe and the smell of digested fries, meat and stomach bile. It is enough to make me want to vomit too. 

Thirty minutes later and we had managed to clean up the mess. We wait for Kylo to pick up Vicrul up as Jess paces back and forth while biting her nails. “I’m going to kick his ass when he wakes up. Orderly my ass. Look at this! He’s ruined my favorite pink rug and he stinks! How can this be the same man!” She shakes her head in disbelief. “Im so sorry Violet! I hope you dont tell your dad please.”

I reply, “Jess honestly its not your fault and of course I'm not telling dad. He’s not going to hear about it because its none of his business. Don't stress, anyways Kylo is picking him up and you could always make Vicrul buy you a new rug.” I smile at her. “But hey, maybe as payback you would make him buy two, so that he can place one in his living room too. You know, break up that icy cold clinical feeling in his heart?” My attempt at a joke makes a small smile appear at her lips. 

She sighs, and then looks back at Vicrul, who is fast asleep on her couch cuddling her green crocodile pillow in his arms. The sight makes her shake her head again. The content look on his face makes me wanna giggle. 

“I guess so Violet. Gosh, I have to leave my pink rug to soak in for a few days to get rid of the smell. Dang it.” She flops back on to the beany bag. I grab the popcorn that I had just microwaved and ask her if she wishes to continue with the last film of the Makers of Death Franchise. 

It’s actually really interesting, and seeing Kylo in it was weird. But he plays the role well. 

When there's a knock on the door, Jess makes her way to open the door. I stuff my face full of popcorn and watch the familiar man walk through the door frame. Kylo looks extremely tall from where I’m sitting on the bean bag. He wears a sleeveless black shirt that is tight across his figure with gray slacks. His hair is slicked back and the scent of bergamot, leather and vanilla with raspberry? Reaches me. Hmm, I wonder if he's been seeing a woman, since he smells of one. 

He greets Jess and apologises to her and then his gaze lands on me before sliding to Vicrul’s sleeping figure. He frowns, muscle working in his jaw. “Well, this is interesting.”

Jess throws her hands in the air in frustration. “Kylo, your friend owes me a new rug and an apology. I don't care if he says he's drunk. Take him home and tell him I'll see him on Monday lunchtime sharp. He better not be late. “ Jess is miffed when she finishes. 

“Yes, I understand,” Kylo responds in his deep voice, “I’ll talk to him too. This is out of character for Vicrul.”

“Well, he ruined me and Violets sleep over.”

Kylo glances at me again. His eyes gliding down my body. I narrow my eyes at him. 

Jess disappears leaving both of us in the lounge. 

When he speaks his tone is laced with amusement. “Nice pyjamas.”

Oh, yeah. I’m wearing elmo pyjamas and yellow fluffy slippers. I blush. Well this is embarrassing. Usually I wear my plain night dress to bed but I decided to bring this one instead. 

Great now he thinks I'm like five years old or something. 

“Thanks,” I reply back. “You had a good night?” I ask breaking the silence that would surely continue if none of us pursue conversation further. But its awkward and I’m feeling hot. 

He shrugs, broad shoulders shifting as he leans against the kitchen island. He makes Jessica's kitchen look small with his big frame and I wander how tall his parents are for him to be gigantic. 

“It was.” He doesn't elaborate but he raises an eyebrow as his gaze lands on the TV screen. He smirks, “Your finally watching it.” 

I look back to the screen and nod back to him. “Yes, It’s good but not that good.” I hide my smile by stuffing more popcorn in to my mouth. He lets out a small chuckle. 

“Your a tough critique to please.” He teases. 

“Well you know, I just have different tastes.” I say. 

Jessica returns back from wherever she went. “Sorry guys but Kylo you need to take your buddy home. Give him a good talk before I give him the bad news.” 

Kylo drags his gaze away from me and licks his lips before he frowns. “Yes, I’m sorry about this but I’ll make sure he doesn’t do this again.” 

Jess rubs her face, “It’s not your fault. Ani ways be careful taking him down the elevator.” We watch as Kylo picks up Vicrul easily like he weighs nothing and tosses him over his shoulder. 

We both have surprised looks on our faces as Kylo smirks and waves us goodbye. He then looks over his shoulder. “You got a tough critique there Jess. Maybe you should show her the ‘L’amour dans la chaleur’ film. She might like that one.” 

Jess laughs and turns to me, her face is flushed, “Hell no, her father would kill me.” 

Kylo has a grin on his face and then finally shuts the door behind him. 

I frown at Jess. “What movie is that?” 

She shakes her head, “Oh just imagine fifty shades of grey and a french couple in the bahamas. Its very explicit.”

I almost choke on my popcorn. “Kylo's in it?”

She nods and cringes, “Yeah. I couldn’t look in the eye after watching it for a week.”

Yeah no. 

We ended up sleeping at 3 in the morning. That night I dreamt of the bahamas. I dream about the beach and bathing in the beach. The sun is hot against my skin and realise I’m naked underneath the heat. Sweat is dripping of my skin and then I hear my name being called. I turn around and see Kylo looking down at me, eyes hooded.

I feel my stomach and my chest flutter. I open my mouth before he bends down. 

I’m awakened by the sound of dishes in the kitchen being washed. When I toss the blankets aside It takes me a while to realise that I dreamt about friken Kylo Ren. Well fuck.

That wasn't good.


	4. Chapter 4

Saturday goes by fast in a breeze. Me and Jess watch more movies and eat more takeaways. We talk about Friday night and cringe. We went out looking for more scented candles and fragrances to make her apartment smell nice. It's because of the lingering scent of Vicruls whiskey vomit that kicks us out and into Aphrodite's Scent shop where there is a variety of beautiful smelling candles, unique perfumes, lotions, creams and home fragrances displayed on the marble shelves. 

Everything is pricey, being that the cheapest is at least over 80 dollars which makes my mouth drop. But my mouth is watering at the same time at all the scents and I barely control myself in reaching for my wallet. I buy a body lotion that smells heavenly and reminds me of seduction, love, and sexiness all at the same time. Even Jess can't stop smelling it too.

The price though, well, it makes me want to drop dead, but the scent is so beautiful and exotic.

Hopefully Dad doesn't go through my bank statements, I think. 

The cashier nods her head in approval and also says that she’s wearing it. It's her favorite scent on her body and her boyfriend loves it. 

Jess ends up getting several candles, all ranging from papaya, mango, and other tropical fruits. They all smell delicious.

We arrived back at the apartment and decided to do a little clean up before lighting some candles. I'm in the process of soaking in the scents and then Jess’s phone rings, with Beyonce's song playing as her ringtone. I hum to it before she answers. 

“Hello Vicrul,” She says despondently.

I pause going on my phone, and look over to Jess. Her face is not happy. 

“Uh huh. Yeah, it shouldn't have happened. You showed up to my house like that, what were you thinking?. You owe me a new rug. No, we're not going out for coffee. Kylo already told you that you owe me an apology on Monday lunch? And no, it won't be over coffee. Listen get some more rest, I’m not happy with you at all. Anyway, enough. I will talk to you about it on monday. Goodbye Vicrul.” She hangs up the phone and huffs. “Men.”

“Yep men alright. What did he say?”

She presses a palm against her temple, “ He tried to apologise to me over the phone. Said he’s never done something like that before blah blah blah. I can't trust men these days. He still sounded hungover. Ill speak with him on monday. God.”

“I mean, did he at least sound remorseful?” I ask quietly. 

She rolls her eyes, “Nope. Not at all.”

“Really?” I give her a look of disbelief. 

She gives me a tired face, “Honestly, I’m pretty sure you don't say sorry to someone and sound like you're telling the weather.”

“Weird. He sounds like a psychopath or something.”

“Maybe,” Jess replies and then stands up. “Anyway kiddo let's watch some more movies. Would you like pizza or chineese tonight?”

I perk up at the sound of more food. “Yes, chineese please.”

She chortles, “Girl, can we swap metabolisms?” She gestures to me and then to herself and I roll my eyes.

“Honestly guys like curves, you have an amazing body,” I compliment her. And Jess did. She had an hourglass figure and skin so flawless I was jealous. Not only that, but her beautiful honey colored hair suited her caramel complexion nicely. 

She reaches into the fridge and grabs a yogurt, “Honestly my ex said my ass was too big and my chest wasn’t the right size. Have been insecure about it since then. I should have just sat on his face and suffocated him now that I think about it. But thank you Violet.”

I laugh, “You should have.”

We talk more about various topics. Jess’s father was Irish, and her mother from Barbados. She was born in Barbados and came to America when she was fifteen. It explained why she had a hint of accent when she spoke and the amount of tropical feelings that emanated from her apartment. It’s nice and it makes me miss the ocean.

“So you're going back soon?”

She nods, “Yeah maybe in about five months. I miss my momma and my dad. They came here to visit me at the start of the year.” 

“Yeah that sounds nice. Barbados sounds amazing.”

She agrees and tells me about all her favorite spots in the island. I tell her I want to go with her someday and she likes the idea. 

The conversation moves to me and then about my mom. I explain my situation and she gives me a solemn look. I tell her I miss mom, but that I don't want to see for a while. It makes me want to cry but we move on before it gets too teary. 

When Saturday is over, Jess drops me off to Dad’s in the morning since she had to pick up a friend from the airport. I arrive home tired and hang out with dad for a bit before he returns back to work. 

I wander around the apartment bored, hungry and then realise that I have to study for the history test on monday. I quickly go back to my room looking for my books and force myself to revise.

Eventually I fall asleep. 

When I wake up, I'm in my bed still in my Sunday top and pants. I look at my clock and see that it is 6.30. I attempt to go back to sleep but it doesn't happen so I end up lying there exhausted and feeling bone tired. 

In a blink of an eye I jump up out of bed, heart racing. Fuck. 

Kylos giving me a ride today. The thought makes me sweat. 

I do my usual routine, with my mind buzzing about in anxiety. God I don't want a ride with Kylo. 

I knock on Dad’s door and hear a grumpy ‘Come in.’

Dad isnt a morning person like me so he’s rubbing his eyes from the bed and giving me a nasty look. “Daughter of mine, why are you awake so early?”

“Listen dad, I was thinking that today I go to Bella's house today after school?” I ask sweetly. 

I wring my hands together. 

“No.” 

Fuck. I can't go to Ryan's either because he had family over to visit so there was no room for me to chill. 

But with Bella, Dad doesn’t like her parents. Said they were weird and rude. I've known Bella since primary school and the first time My dad met her parents was when they invited us over for dinner. Bella's parents were green loving people which meant they smelt like weed at the dinner table, and the food was interesting to say the least. But I liked them. They were kind and attentive.

“Why not! Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean I can’t get to go to Bella’s house. She's my friend not yours!” I'm so annoyed that I glare at him and he does it back. 

He growls out, “No! Those people are weird and I don't trust them! I’m not stupid because I know exactly what your doing. I've already arranged that Kylo pick you up after school and bring you either back here or to work.”

“That's so unfair dad I never agreed to this! Kylo looks a nice person but at least if I just stay over at Bella's place today-”

He sits up and cuts me off, “I’m your father at least give me some respect and listen to me. End of story!” 

I slam his door and go back to my room and scream into my pillow. Life is unfair goddamn it. For a brief second I think about mom, and I cry for a few minutes. I sulk in the car while Dad ignores me.

Hours later I’m at school grumpy and pissed off. Ryan encourages me to eat at lunch and Bella tries to sneak me a cigarette to calm my nerves. I decline because I don't smoke but I do eat the chicken and avocado sandwich that Ryan has given me. 

It tastes good and I relay to them about my weekend and my dads fight. They nod and listen. 

The day goes by too fast. Way too fast. I ask Bell and Ryan to wait for me, but Bella has to leave as her dad was impatiently waiting outside the school gates, and Ryan stays with me for ten minutes outside the parking lot with other students. Eventually he has to leave too. 

I text Dad asking what car Kylo has and he says it’s a black Mercedes-Benz. Ofcourse. 

I check my phone and notice it's nearly three thirty and watch as traffic goes by. Collins and his friends wave to me as they drive past. I awkwardly wave back and get back on to my phone. I hate waiting in front of the school too long. Eventually its me and a handful of students left and I adjust my uniform and comb my fingers through my hair. 

The opposite of the street are a few tall office buildings, and there are many people walking about with their business suits and formal outfits entering and exiting the glass doors. It’s loud as cars go by and forth, cyclists and people walking by. 

The wind whips back a few strands and I hold down my skirt to avoid flashing the street and the traffic of cars going my pink underwear. When it calms down I let go and get back on my phone. 

I’m too busy scrolling through tumblr, liking pictures and commenting on posts that I don’t notice a car crawl past and then reverse back and into the parking area besides the sidewalk pavement. 

I hear a window roll down and then my name being called out, “Violet.”

My heart jumps and I swallow nervously.

I raise my gaze and see Kylos mercedes-Benz in front of me. The windows are tinted and the passenger window is halfway down. Kylo’s wearing dark sunglasses and his scent wafts over to me. He’s looking at me over the windows although I can't see his eyes. 

“Thanks” I walk towards the door. I can see my reflection on the smooth body of his car. I open it up and then take off my bag before sliding in the leather seat. I shut the door behind me and glanced at him. He’s got a hint of a smile on his full lips and then he turns the wheel and were on the road. 

Traffic is still heavy, and I notice that he may be late for work. 

The interior of his car is sleek, dark and modern. It smells of his perfume and that new car smell that permeates the air. He’s wearing black slacks and a black shirt. 

“You can place your bag at the back if you want.” He says voice low and dulcet. 

I place it instead down on the floor in front of my legs. “No it’s fine. I’ll leave it down here.”

Well this is weird I think once I've settled in. I notice there's a diamond earring on his dashboard. I’m guessing it was his girlfriends or something. It rolls around due to the motion from the car before he grabs it and places it in the little compartment next to the gear stick. “How was school today?” He asks. 

I contemplated giving a short answer, but decided it would be rude. “It was long and boring. We had a test today for history. I’m not too sure I did well. Yours?” 

He briefly turns his head towards me, sunglasses till on and nods, “Yeah, your dad says you’ve been studying so I’m sure you did well. My day was fairly uninteresting. I've just returned from my parents so that didn’t help things.” 

The tone of his voice hints of boredom and then dismay. Maybe he didn't like his parents. I don’t ask about it and lean back against the chair comfortably. It did feel nice though as I leaned my head back. 

We chat about the weather, and how sunny it is. It is 40 degrees outside and I feel the uncomfortable skirt sticking to the sweat at the back of my thighs. Luckily he turns the fan on high. I check the time on my phone and see the numbers of minutes we would have before arriving. I groan internally. 

I don't think I can last two weeks. 

“You want me to turn the fan down a bit?” He asks, interrupting my sulking mood as I stare out the window. I turn to him and school my features back to normal and then shake my head. 

“No, it should be fine.”

I realise there’s goosebumps on my thighs now despite the heat and then I quickly but subtly pull down my skirt. Damn things. Why did they have to be so short I complained inside my head. 

“So, what do you want to do when you finish school?” Kylo questions. He takes one hand off the wheel and pushes his glasses back on to his head. This time his gaze reaches mine. His eyes are dark and considering. Almost too intense and I break eye contact. 

What was I going to do after school aniways? Go to University? Maybe. Study what though? 

I know I liked art. I liked to draw. Maybe arts and crafts. Do something in that field. 

I shrug, “I’m not sure really. It’s hard to tell.”

He makes a low humming sound in the back of his throat. “Hmm, I wasn’t sure either what I wanted to do. I thought about a few things other than acting. Politics, Medicine, Law,” he pauses his jaw muscle moving, “and then I realised that was all the things my mother wanted me to do.”

So definitely not a good relationship with his parents then. “So you wanted to get into acting? What inspired you?” I ask genuinely curious. He licks his lips and tilts his head, contemplating.

“A lot of things. Self expression. It was an opportunity for me to get my anger out.”

Anger? Not a motivation I would have thought about, but everyone was different.

“That’s interesting, I mean…” I consider my words and ignore the sweat starting to build on my palms despite the cool air blowing out. I hated this feeling. Anxiety loved the company of people I especially didn't know too well. “I never thought of Anger being that motivator to pursue something such as acting. I think it’s different.” My voice trembles a bit but I inhale deeply through my nostrils a few times to calm my pacing heart. “But it’s cool.”

Fuck. 

“I guess so. Life is funny that way.”

I agree. He has both hands on the wheel now, and he's staring intently on the road. I can see the muscles and the tendons in his arms flexing, and I’m immediately reminded of that dream I had with him on the beach. And also the fact he suggested that scandalous movie that Jess briefly told me about.   
I feel heat blooming in my cheeks. Oh hell no. 

I banish the thoughts from my head. I am not going to think about Kylo Ren that way. He’s old enough to be my dad or something. God, was I just boyfriend deprived?

The rest of the ride is silent. I lay my head against the window and close my eyes. I try to ignore the scent of him coming through. It swirls in my head, and then my thoughts are reminded of the dream again.I swear internally and curse the damn dream away. 

I think instead of school, homework and food. God I was starving, and my stomach rumbles. 

Eventually the smooth ride of the car and the sound of the engine lulls me to sleep. There's a few minutes that pass by and then Kylo plays some music quietly. Not too loud but not a nuisance to me. 

I’m on the brink of sleep when suddenly a loud crash of metal rips through the air, and I feel myself propelled forward but the belt stops me and then a solid arm is pushing me back into the chair. I feel the air being pushed out of me and my lids fly open. 

I can barely get my thoughts together when Kylo’s voice angrily cuts in. “Fuck!”

He’s got a look of shock and surprise on his face, but then anger flashes through his face and he turns to me. “Are you okay?” His tone is calm but his eyes are murderous. A portion of his hair which had been slicked back is hanging obscuring one eye. 

I nod “yeah,”, and then realise I’m holding on to his arm that is tightly pressed against my chest. I look behind his head through his window that there's a red lamborghini literally upside down and smoke coming out of the engine. All the windows are gone and lying around the car in shatters. 

“Holy fuck!” I let go of Kylo’s arm. “Is the driver dead?” I ask as I lean on to his side to see the car better. 

“Fucking hell, he better be. Otherwise he’ll wish he would have died once I see him.” He withdraws his arm and then slams his door shut. He is stalking towards the crash fists clenching in his sides and I’m briefly reminded that he looks exactly like a serial killer in one of the horror movies me and Jess watched over the weekend. 

Holy shit! Did we nearly die? My thoughts then turn towards the scene of the crash.

Another blue car is a few feet further away, and there's dents on the side. The driver is outside standing with a phone in his hand, but he is bleeding from his head. The light pole on the street is down. 

I quickly get my phone out and dial the emergency number. I take my seat belt out and then open the door to see better. The line is still ringing and then the operator answers. 

I explain to her what happened and she confirms that an ambulance and a few police vehicles will be on the way. 

I’m absolutely shocked, as I survey the scene. Kylo and a few people are surrounding the lamborghini and attempting to find out if the driver is alive. 

I hear the sound of police cars and ambulance alarms ringing through the air not far away. I hear a few children crying and see some cars have driven away slowly so their children don't see the chaos. 

Sweat is starting to pour down my temple and spine, my palms are definitely sweating. I’m aware of how hot and burning the heat is. The soles of my feet are hot, and I feel sweat dripping down my neck and thighs. My heart is racing, and I wonder if it's my anxiety or just shocked at the fact that me and Kylo almost died. 

The uniform feels stuffy and scratchy against my skin as I watch the scene. Kylo is on his knees placing his hand through the window. A few other men are helping. 

Suddenly there’s a flurry of voices and urgent cries. There’s a police car that pulls up behind me and then “Miss, please step back. You're too close to the scene, young lady. It’s dangerous” I turn to see a police man looking down at me and carefully grabbing me to maneuver me to further back. 

My eyes are glued to the scene and then I see it. A bloodied hand reaches out from the window and there's a howl of pain. “I can't feel my legs.” He is in pain, and his voice cuts out before he lets out another cry.

Parts of flesh are hanging down from the drivers arms. Blood is pouring from his wounds and then I smell the strong scent of petrol. 

The sound drowns out and I’m being pushed back as someone holds me. I didn't realise that it was one of the paramedics until I look up. A blonde woman is giving me a concerned look. “Honey were you in that car crash?”

I shake my head, but then I see that the front of Kylo’s car looks like it’s been smashed in. I almost lose my balance and fall. 

Someone else reaches me and then guides me to the ambulance. A blood curdling scream rips through the air. I wince and my breaths come out fast as goosebumps rise on my skin. My head whips back and Kylo and a few men have stepped away from the scene as policemen, two paramedics and a few firefighters are surrounding the car. One has a chainsaw in his hand and I'm reminded of the movie Dad’s making except that this is real life. 

Suddenly everything becomes hazy and my vision begins to blur. It’s slowly getting dark and I’m aware that I’m extremely thirsty. Probably because my school uniform felt soaked through with sweat. 

The next thing I know is Kylo calling out my name before I pass out from the heat.


	5. Chapter 5

When I wake up, I’m in my room. Dad is looking at me with relief on his face before he sighs and kisses me on the head. He whispers something and then quickly grabs the cup of water that is beside the drawer on my bed and places it at my lips. 

I remembered fainting from the heat and then waking up to a paramedic checking me. A kind brown man with hazel eyes, who gave me water, checked my vision and then my vitals. Another paramedic woman also checked my body for possible injuries and signs and symptoms of trauma. Luckily they found nothing besides the fact that I just may have been extremely dehydrated and gave me a bottle of water. 

I was also advised to wear thin layers and to stay away from the heat. I remembered feeling extremely tired after that and seeing Kylo and Dad watching over me. Dad looked and still looked worried. Kylo was too and I wonder if he went back home. 

I lay my head back on my pillow, and Dad takes the water away. He has tears in his eyes and he tells me how afraid he was at the thought of losing me. He mentions that Kylo rang him not long after the incident while he was at work. 

Flashes of the car accident go through my head and I’m reminded of what happened. 

“Is the guy okay?” I ask in a hoarse voice. “The one in the Lambo?”

Dad nods but his face is tired, “He is alive, but Kylo said he suffered multiple bone fractures when the ambulance took him away. He was speeding, and he lost control of the car which caused him to crash into you guys, and the other driver to swerve.” He takes a shaky breath. “It’s a miracle that you guy didn’t take much damage. When I saw the other car, I couldn’t help but panic. I was afraid.”

Tears begin to form in Dad’s eyes. “Daddy please dont cry. I’m safe and alive.” I reach out to touch Dad’s hand when I feel an ache in my chest that makes me wince.

Dad closes his eyes for a second and then speaks, “I hope he’s learned his lesson putting his own life and others’ lives at risk.”

“Yeah I guess I-” I hiss when an ache tugs at my chest. 

“Sweetheart, what is it?” Dad says his brows furrowing.

Shit. I place my hand against my chest and then realize that it was probably when Kylo stuck his arm in front of me and pushed me back. I feel a sense of gratitude in my chest and I plan about telling him how thankful I am. 

I explain to Dad in detail what happened. “Well, I’m glad its Kylo and not one of your friends who was driving.” He says. “He’s a good guy.”

“Where’s Kylo? Did he go back home?” I ask, and then Dad shakes his head.

“No honey, Kylo is in the lounge. He’s asleep on the couch.” 

I raise my brows, well okay then. “Why?”

“He drove us back home in my car. He noticed I was upset while I was holding you and then he offered to bring us here to my apartment. Since he stays more than 45 minutes away from here, I told him he could just rest here for the night. You both have appointments to go see the doctors, for trauma and a second check-up tomorrow.”

I dont remember the last time I went to the hospital. 

I give Dad a soft smile, “Thank you, Dad.”

He shrugs, “It’s alright. I rang up school and you get a week off depending on how you feel. Teachers will just email you your homework.”

Two weeks huh, that doesn’t sound too bad. “Thank you, dad. I appreciate it.”

Dad then clears his throat and looks down for a second, “Your mother is coming here tomorrow as well. She’s on a plane right now from Maryland. I had to ring her to update her.”

I refrain myself from screaming no, but I hold it in. God, that was the last person I wanted to see, but I guess it was too late since Dad already told her. 

I shrug, but there’s a heavyweight at my chest. I sigh. I wasn’t ready to face mom again, she still had two weeks before I could see her again. “I guess it’s fine.” Totally not. 

Dad frowns, “I know sweetheart things have been really hard for all of us, especially you. But, you know despite what mom did in the past, she still really loves you. I love you too. I’m still upset with her, but I’ve forgiven her.”

I try not to let tears bloom in my eyes. The conversation was heading to a place I didn’t want to think about. There were too many emotions swirling inside me. I didn’t necessarily agree with what he said. If she loved us and she wouldn’t have done what she did in the first place. 

“Hmm,” I fidget with the edge of the blanket. “I’m still not there yet. But I’ll try.” I say and dad gives a waning smile. 

Dad nods and then glances at my bedside watch, “I better let you rest sweetheart. It’s close to midnight.” He kisses my head and then bids me goodbye. 

When dad is gone I lie back on to my pillow thinking about how lucky I am to survive. 

I realize that I and Kylo were close to getting turned into kebabs, and I thank whatever deity there was for protecting me. I mean it was the first day of Kylo picking me up and we had a car accident. It’s pretty freaky to think about. 

Speaking of Kylo, I slowly get up out of bed. 

I make my war across the carpet and open the door before peering out into the lounge. The sofa back is facing me and I can’t see Kylo. 

I’m actually quite curious and surprised dad let him sleepover, despite dad not liking me mentioning anything related to guys or guy friends coming over. I wonder why dad likes Kylo so much. 

Bella would literally be drooling if she found out famous actor, award-winning Mr Ren was in my dad’s apartment not that I cared too much about it of course. 

I silently walk towards the kitchen and then frown when I see there is no one on the couch despite the fact his jacket is hanging by the door. There is my extra beige fluffy blanket and a pillow where he is supposed to be on the couch. His usual scent permeates the air and I wonder if he sprays that stuff oh himself everywhere he goes.

Good thing it doesn’t smell bad. 

I see that his leather shoes are also beside the shoe rack.

He’s probably out for a smoke or something, I think. Wait, does he smoke? Anyway, my attention turns to the contents of Dad’s kitchen. 

The urge to have something to snack on hits me and then I turn to rummage through the insides of the fridge.

I spot a piece of chocolate cake, and my eyes light up. I hope dad doesn’t mind. I grab the plate and a fork while sitting at the island and proceed to eat. I don’t realize how starving I am until it’s gone in seconds. 

Licking my spoon, I walk around looking inside the cupboards for more food. There was nothing that I wanted to eat, like at all. I wanted something hot and fresh. 

I didn’t want to wake dad up, so I went to my room to grab my cellphone. I think about some hot fresh fried chicken and then KFC comes to mind. I ordered a bucket of chicken, not like I needed a whole bucket but I think dad or Kylo would like something to eat tomorrow. 

When I return back to the kitchen, the apartment door opens, and Kylo’s massive form steps in. There’s an annoyed look on his face and the smell of jasmine and vanilla hit me. Jesus Christ. Did he change his perfume or something?

I clear my throat alerting him to my presence. He catches sight of me and his face softens as he shuts the door behind him. 

I don’t pay much attention to the fact that his expression makes my stomach flutter a bit.   
“You’re awake. How are you feeling?” He asks as he lingers at the doorway. I strain my neck at having to look up at him. God, why did he have to be so tall, and me so short. His gaze is dark and unwavering as always and it feels more intense. 

“I’m okay,” I reply and then slide into one of the stools at the kitchen island. He scans my face and then runs his fingers through his hair. The ends of his full lips are tilted down a bit and there is an aura of graveness surrounding him. 

“I was worried about you, but I’m glad you’re feeling better now.” He replies in a low dulcet tone and then he is opposite of me with the island in between us. I can tell there is something else he wants to say. He watches my face again, eyes scanning and I’ve never seen him look so contemplative. 

I break the silence because I hope my facial expression shows appreciation for his care but then I scrunch my nose, “Why do you smell like you just showered in women’s perfume.”

He raises a brow confused and then realization dawns on his face, “Oh, yeah.” He sniffs himself and then his lips pull back unhappy. “Sorry I didn’t realize it was so potent. An acquaintance of mine found out I was here, bloody paparazzi. She found out through the tabloids and came here to see me. I met her just outside. “

Oh, yeah that’s right. Paparazzi. Poor dude. 

“Oh, that makes sense,” I give him a grimace, “Anyways the news will probably be filled with Mr Kylo Ren involved in an accident. A miracle really.” I state. 

He sighs as he lets out a slow breath, “It comes with the job, despite how much I loathe it.” He looks more vulnerable like this, maybe it was the dim light in the kitchen or the fact we came out of an incident alive and well. 

“Are you okay?” I ask him, concern lacing my tone. “Did you get hurt?” I scan his form for signs of bruising. There wasn’t much to see as he was covered in a long-sleeve black top and jeans. 

“No, nothing thankfully.” He runs a palm over his face, and then he takes a deep inhale. Exhaustion is evident on his face as he sighs. “I’m more concerned about you.” Well obviously.

But I give him a small soft smile. A traumatic event really does bring some people together, doesn’t it. “I’m really okay, I surprisingly don't have any injuries and neither do you. Dad said it’s a miracle.”

He nods and hums in agreement, “Yeah, it’s a good thing we’re lucky.” There’s a long silence that we bask in. 

We’re both thinking about it, replaying it in our memories and I question internally about this incident will affect both our sleep quality. I’ve never been in a car accident before, maybe Kylo is bad luck. 

Okay, that was totally mean to think about but maybe if Dad didn’t ask him to pick me up it wouldn’t have happened. Maybe we were just bad luck together. 

“I ordered some fried chicken if you're hungry?” I finally decided to break the silence. 

He glances at me and then gives a small smile, “Really? You're eating now?” He asks playfully, lips still tilted up and lighting his face. He checks his watch and then chuckles, “It’s 20 minutes past midnight Violet.” The way my name comes out of his mouth makes me feel a little weird.

I huff, “Well I’m hungry.” I lay my chin on my folded hands on the kitchen island, watching him as he shakes his head. His hair seems longer than usual, and did his shoulders get bigger? I’m too busy watching him as he turns to prepare himself some coffee. He mentions something about not being able to sleep. 

When he opens the fridge door I couldn’t help my trail from his broad shoulders down to his back and to -, okay I’m not even going to go there. 

When my food arrives, the scent makes my mouth water. The smell of fresh fried chicken makes my stomach rumble. I start digging in and asking Kylo occasionally if he is sure he doesn't want a piece but he declines. He’s sipping his coffee with his back against the kitchen sink. There is amusement dancing in his eyes, and I ignore it because I’m hungry. 

God usually I don't eat this late because dinner was usually at 5 or 6 o’clock for me. However given the circumstances and the fact I slept for ages after the incident, my body was craving fuel. 

I don’t realize what I’m doing until I feel Kylo’s heavy gaze on me, as I lick my fingers and hum. I glance at him and see his dark eyes on my lips and I quickly lower my hands and wipe my mouth with the paper towels. 

The situation was highly inappropriate and I clear my throat as he continues drinking his coffee as if he hadn’t just watched me in the way. But it was my fault really as I was eating with no manners. Christ, tiredness pulls at my lids. 

The threat of the dream of me at the beach with him surfaces to mind, and I blush. Now, I was being inappropriate. 

When I’m finished I decide to wash my hands and tell Kylo I’m off to bed. 

He nods his head, “Goodnight Violet.”

I walk away from the kitchen and then glance over my shoulder and see that he is still leaned against the kitchen sink in the darkness. At this angle, he looks like he’s brooding silently in the dark, contemplating the things only he can think of. 

I wonder how badly the accident affected him.

When I get to my room I open the door and fall onto the bed, not caring about the blankets. I’m exhausted and tired and full. The next thing I know, I am out.

That night I had more dreams. I dreamt that I didn’t survive the car crash and that I died. I saw the grim reaper, his dark hood covering his face. He took my hand, and I notice how cold it was.

Or maybe he wasn’t and I was. 

When he revealed his face, Kylos face stared back at me. His pupils and the whites of his eyes were black. I yanked my hand back, fear coursing through my body. Kylo laughed, a deep rumbling sound, that actually scared the shit out of me. 

I ran away, and hear him following. The scene changes and I’m in a dark forest. The scenes change again and again in to different places. My head spins and in all of them Kylo was there, but there was no comfort in his presence, only fear. 

When I wake up, I’m more exhausted than I was before I went to sleep. I rub my eyes and contemplate going back to bed and then I’m reminded that I had horrible dreams the whole night so I dont. 

Well, here goes another exciting day I guess, I think dryly to myself. 

As mean as it sounds, I hoped Kylo went home in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

When I get out of bed, I freshen up in the bathroom. I’m in the process of a nice cool shower when I hear knocking on the bathroom door. I turn off the spray and hear dad’s voice through the door.

“Honey I’m going in ten minutes.” That’s a sign dad wants to talk to me. 

I quickly scrub my body, rinse, and then grab my towel to wrap around myself. Today was not a day I was looking forward to. Mom was going to be here today and I have no idea how long she will be staying for. 

I get dressed and put on the lotion that I had purchased from Aphrodites with Jess. The scent is absolutely delicious and makes my mouth water. 

When I’m finished fixing my hair, I meet dad in the lounge who is prepared for work. He’s got his laptop bag, cellphone, and car keys in hand. 

“Morning love, how are you feeling?” Dad pecks me on the cheek.

“I’m fine really.” I notice the couch is empty and my blanket neatly folded. 

Dad checks his watch and notices my line of sight, “Kylo had to leave this morning. He had to meet his parents out in the central city. He’s got an appointment at noon, but your one is this late morning just before lunch.”

“Oh,” I start preparing myself some hot chocolate, “So who’s taking me?”

Dad takes a sip of his coffee, slowly, and I pause pouring the milk into my drink. He has that deep look on his face again and I know immediately I’m not going to like what he has to say. 

“ Mom’s going to be here soon sweetheart. Maybe in twenty minutes or so.” At the look on my face, Dad sighs with brows furrowed, “Sweetheart, it’s hard, I know it is. I didn’t tell you this, but, mom rang me last week crying. She said she misses you and would love to come by and see you but it’s not my choice to make. What counts is what you want, but this accident caused us both to worry, and I couldn’t say no this time. She needs to see you.”

I stir my drink and look down to avoid his eyes, “I know dad, I know.” It’s all I can manage to say. Over the past few weeks mom has been attempting to ring me and getting me to reply, but I’m stubborn. I want her to be hurt just as I was hurt. It gives me small satisfaction no matter how fleeting it is, but every day I wake up and I cry into my pillow, thinking why she did it. Why she had to ruin our relationship and break up the thing I love the most. 

Her coming today would mean constant inner turmoil and heartache. Inside I wish dad never worked with Kylo so that the whole situation yesterday wouldn’t have happened. If she expects me to greet her with open arms, then she was dead wrong. 

Dad nods, and looks down, “Well sweetheart,” he checks his watch and then his cellphone, “She’s going to be here soon, ring me if you need anything. I mean it” He comes closer and gives me a tight hug, his breaths come out shaky and unsteady. 

I sigh in to his chest “Yeah, it’s fine. Get that movie done dad soon please, I would love to go to the premiere.”

Dad chuckles and then we part. His eyes are shiny with tears and there are bags under his eyes. I’m hit by how truly exhausted he looks and the possibility that he and Kylo may have not slept soundly last night.

“I’ll see you after work. Text me if you need anything love.” He gives me another kiss on the head and then closes the door behind him leaving me in the kitchen alone. I lean back against the kitchen sink, and run my hands through my hair. I think about how truly amazing it is that I survived-both survived. It’s a miracle and it makes me close my eyes tightly and gives thanks to whatever deity there was for giving me the chance to live the next day.

I know that when I go back to school there will be a lot of questions from people about the accident, which I don’t think I’ll have the energy to answer. 

My phone rings suddenly snapping me out of my thoughts and I check who it is. Bella's name stands out boldly on the screen. 

I click the answer button and raise it to my ear. “ Holy fuck! Were you in a car accident with frickin Kylo Ren!?” I groan and rub my ear while lifting the phone away.

I place it back and then Ryan’s voice is heard over the speaker, “Are you serious Bella. That’s the first thing you say! Give me the fucking phone!” 

Ryans voice cuts in softly, “Hey girlfriend, how are you feeling? We’re coming to the hospital to see you okay. Tell me which one you’re in, and we don’t mind skipping school. We’re really worried about you. Obviously this bitch beside me-”

Bella protests and the sounds of thudding is heard through the speaker, “Hey Ryan I’m right here.” 

“-Anyway as I was saying this hoe was meant to ask if you are okay instead of askingaboutfrikenkyloren.” He states agitated. I sympathise with him. 

I roll my eyes and give a short burst of laughter, “Guy’s honestly I’m fine. I’m at home and not in a hospital, and by some amazing freakin miracle we both survived with no injuries. We’re both lucky.” 

Bella cuts in much to Ryan’s muffled annoyance, “No but honestly I was so worried. We found out online on E-news entertainment that Kylo Ren was in an accident. History class was pretty boring so I was surfing the web and there was this massive headline. Someone photographed him there at the scene as-well-as you and dad were in the photo, but obviously, you guys didn’t know.”

I’m not surprised by the news, simply because Kylo is followed everywhere by paparazzi, however, I’m not liking the fact my face could be anywhere online which makes me feel extremely anxious. The more I think about it the more I want to crawl into a hole and bury myself away from the scrutiny of the public.

“It was pretty bad by the looks of it with that guy’s car. It looked fucked up.” Ryan comments, “But we're glad you're okay.”

I sigh and plop onto the couch, and lean my head back. The scent of Kylo’s perfume fills my nose and I quickly stand back up. I did not need to be reminded of that dream I had last night. I groan internally. “Yeah the other guy was pretty badly hurt.”

I move away from the back onto the kitchen stool, trying to ignore the weight of the fact that Kylo literally slept on our couch last night. I lick my lips and prepare some toast while checking the time. Mom was going to be here so might as well make breakfast. 

“Honestly we both want to see you when you're free and able. When are you coming back to school?,” Ryan says. “I miss you, we both do.” 

“Yeah I miss you too guys, like a lot.” I put my cellphone on the loudspeaker and place it on the kitchen counter. “I get this week off, but you guys are welcome to come over.” The idea of my friends visiting lifts my mood. Dad usually doesn’t allow visitors but this time he’ll make an exception. 

“Yeah sounds great,” they both say enthusiastically. “We’ll bring snacks and some board games over.”

“That sounds amazing, but when are you guys coming over? Just so I can let dad know.” I ask. 

Ryan comments that may be Wednesday or Thursday would be good. Bella agrees on Wednesday until she remembers that she has book club meetings on Wednesdays after school. So they both decided on Thursday to which I agree. I’m excited at the prospect of them coming over, and I hope that they might sleep over and dad’s drivers could drop them off to school in the morning. 

Ryan reluctantly says goodbye leaving an eager Bella on the phone. “So I got to tell you something. I was surfing through the web a few days ago and there were paparazzi pictures of Kylo and a girl which I literally thought was you at the beach.”

Uh, there we go again, I can’t seem to escape hearing Kylo’s name from someone else without getting a little bit annoyed. 

I eat my toast thinking what does this have to do with anything, “So? Is he not allowed to be at the beach?”

Bella snorts, “ Um, no. I’m joking, but I have been doing my research, and found some weird pictures which I think you may want to hear about.”

I try not to groan, “Research on what? Kylo Ren? You seem a little obsessed,” I add more jam on to my toast.

She lets out an offended noise, “Anyways shush let me speak, do you know that over the past two weeks or more than two weeks you’ve known Kylo?”

“Yeah, what are you trying to get at?,” I sip my hot chocolate and almost cuss when I burn my tongue. 

“There's pictures of him with girls and they all have similar features, you know, black curly hair, pale eyes, short-ish blah blah like you.”

Offended I make a noise of protest through the speaker. “Really thanks,” I added. “I’m not that short Bella.” I have to admit I kind of am. 

“No like actually you are and oh, like don’t you find it weird?”

I refrain from telling her to shush. I’m not in the mood to talk about Kylo simply because I was sick of hearing his name. It may have to do with the dreams I had last night of him, who knows. My mood sours again when I realize that instead of this week because I’m not at school, but next week he’ll have to pick me up. 

“I don’t Bella like I actually don’t. Kylo is photographed with everyone, he’s a celebrity you ass.” 

Bella snorts, “Your kidding me right? god's sake. He’s seen with these girls in poorly bad disguise because you can still tell it’s him. The guy is a giant and he has no idea how good paparazzi are at spotting his lame attempts at disguises. Anyway, they all have similar features as I have already said before. Do I really need to tell you the obvious?”

Oh, realization dawns on me as I stir my hot chocolate. “You're not seriously telling me I look like them?” It’s bizarre, weird and a little bit unbelievable. I don’t know how much Bella is exaggerating. 

She almost shouts and the speaker rings, “Yes! Finally, Jesus Christ, I was going to wait till next year for you to guess. Don’t you find it weird? Like he’s seen with these women outside hotels like maybe he’s doing kinky shit with them.”

My mouth drops open, “Oh my god, you have got to be joking. I think you're thinking way too much into this Bella and I’m pretty sure that’s stalking. Let the guy live his life and who cares what he gets up to, please can we change the subject.” What she says still doesn’t make a difference, but then my memory is jogged back to that time when Kylo mentioned that erotica movie he was into Jess. His suggestion to her that I should watch it, which was inappropriate as hell raises a lot of red flags. 

Damn, I rack my brain trying to remember the name, so I make a note to myself to look it up. I definitely don’t tell Bella this, knowing how much she’ll delve too deep into it. I’m concerned at the amount of time she spends stalking people on social media. 

I come up with a rational explanation that Kylo literally is a celebrity, obviously, he was going to be seen with different people and there will be coincidences that some will look the same. 

I explain this to her but I can feel her shaking her head through the phone, “No Violet, these girls which all kind of look like you-weird as fuck might I say, like I even showed Ryan the photos and he agrees. It’s kind of creepy and a little hot that maybe he’s obsessed with you.”

I cringe at the thought of Kylo of all people being obsessed with little old me. The idea is ridiculous and makes me roll my eyes. Sure it would be nice if he was obsessed with getting away from me. “Oh my god Bella, first of all he’s not. Can we not even go there?. He’s old and could be my dad, and honestly male celebrities are notorious for sleeping with everyone in the industry if what Dad mutters in his breath is true.” Which I kind of doubt since no one is the same. 

She doesn’t agree, “No way, Kylo definitely has a type, I mean I was looking at his dates in the past, they were either blonde or brunette but now honey, totally different. By the way, these girls he’s been seeing, well he only is seen with them outside those fancy hotels. Anyway, Kylo is so not that old...Do you think he's kinky and just into you at the same time and is looking for girls to yah know, fulfill that -. “

I cut in, “Oh hell no, don’t even think about finishing that sentence.” I’m horrified by the idea and find myself wanting to steer the conversation in an entirely different direction. Usually we would be talking about other things like boys at school, upcoming parties, gossip at school but ever since Kylo has entered the picture, his name just spills from everyone's lips and Bellas especially. 

It is not something I like, and it makes me uncomfortable that we're talking about an older man who probably has a girlfriend and a kid maybe. Sometimes I know that actors tend to keep their personal lives very private to the point that not even the tabloids could crack through. Suddenly I’m struct by the possibility that Kylo could be married and could have a wife at home, which is not a bad thing, but it tells me how much I don’t actually know about him. 

I hear faint sounds of footsteps outside the door. “Look Violet, I’ll talk to you later okay thanks for that enlightening conversation but I'll message you later, cause I’m pretty sure my mom’s going to be here.” I end the call when she says goodbye in offence that I wasn’t interested in hearing more of what she had to say. 

I hear the sound of keys, and then the sound of shoes on the floor. The door opens and my mom's face greets me. I have no idea how she got the keys to the apartment but I don't bother pondering about it. 

She looks the same as always; well put together, make up intact, hair done, designer clothes on and nails manicured. Her hair is lighter, and she looked like she’d been tanning. 

My chest feels heavy and I’m reminded of everything that happened. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I control myself. A part of me was being fulfilled in a ‘missing my mom’ kind of way but, the other part was still angry, hurt and sad. I chose the dark part where all my pit of morbid emotions festered. 

“My daughter Violet!, how are you? I missed you so much!” I let her hug me in a tight hold, that tempts me to bury my face into her hair. Instead I’m standing there awkwardly with a responsive hug that held minimal effort. She smells of Chanel and expensive hair products. 

When I reply back my voice is soft, “I’m good. How was your flight?”

I look to see there are tears running from her eyes, and surprisingly her mascara is not ruined probably because her one was waterproof. “It was good. I just kept thinking about you the whole time. I was worried, but now that I see you, I’m glad you're okay.”

She gives me another hug and this time I hear her sniff. 

We spend time talking, although she can see I’m still hesitant and reserved. She apologizes and continues to speak but it goes from one ear to the other. I’m having a hard time keeping the communication smooth because I’m refraining from having a mental breakdown. Time goes by too slow at first, and I’m left wondering at how long she will be here. 

The thought of her staying more than at least a few days, gives me a sense of dismay. 

We eat breakfast, and then prepare for my appointment. 

The day goes by rather quicker than expected. Mom fills our silences with topics varying from school, her work, her home and things in general. She doesn’t elaborate on the fact that her and her boss have moved in together, after I had checked his facebook to see who he was. Some guy in his late fifties who was the total opposite of dad. I had blocked mom from all social media besides normal messages and calls. 

She tries to engage me in speaking about school, but my answers are short. It makes the car ride to the hospital awkward and a little tense. 

The appointment with the doctor had been smooth. Nothing was out of the blue which surprised the doctor. He was a Christian man who believed that I was blessed and that it was a miracle that I had been okay. I thank him, although I don’t mention anything about my beliefs. Christianity was not something I thought often about. 

Mom takes me out for lunch but in the process, we receive a message from dad that he will be in the central area for his break. He invites me and mom to an upscale restaurant with two floors. They serve delicious thai food which quite frankly makes my stomach grumble with hunger. The scent of food in the air makes my mouth water and so we grab a seat at a secluded area away from the general diners. It has more privacy and the owner who is close friends with dad doesn’t hesitate to bring out the best alcohol.

We chat about miscellaneous things, and mom asks dad about how the film is going. Dad is all too happy to discuss the details, but I’m stuck between daydreaming and eating. 

“So Kylo Ren huh,” Mom comments as she gives me a smile, “did he give you some tips on acting?”

“Why would he?” I state it’s not like I’m into acting anyway and I never paid attention to his scenes. I had the attention span of a goldfish.

“Well I bet you would be a great actress,” she has that little smile that annoys me, as if she actually thought I was remotely interested in acting as a career. There was nothing wrong with it, but I just know it would not be my future at all. I couldn’t even lie sometimes without being caught on the spot. 

I take a spoonful of my soup, “I’m not interested in acting nor will I ever be in to acting, and even if I would, Kylo Ren would not be someone I would go to for advice.”   
Sorry, Kylo. 

Mom tries to hide the surprised look on her face at my blunt answer, “Oh,” she takes a sip of her wine, “that’s fine then.”

Dad comments, “Violet loves her artwork. I've seen some of her drawings, they are amazing, isn’t that right honey?” He gives me an expectant look.

Mom smiles in her overly red lipstick she never fails to don, “That’s lovely. I would love to see it sometime.” 

“Yeah sure,” I shrug, stirring the noodles around my bowl to distract myself. 

She takes another sip of her wine; while her other manicured hand rhythmically taps the table. She does it when she’s feeling anxious, something about her that has always made me feel anxious too. 

Earlier in the years, mom had very bad anxiety. She wouldn’t leave the house sometimes and would stay in her room and wouldn’t come out. I thought it was normal back then, I was in secondary school, but when I visited some of my former friends' parents. I noticed it wasn’t normal. Mom at the time lost her job because of it, but dad went out looking for help. He paid for her therapy sessions and I went with her to them not only as support but also because I was curious about it. 

I didn’t need them at the time but once I started high school, I noticed skipping class to having breathing exercises in the toilet and to go on the phone there, wasn’t normal. I enjoyed class of course, but my fear of everyone thought of me was so potent that I would avoid class entirely or pretend to be sick. 

However things did get better after a while, but now and then something bad would happen and I would end up locked in my room just like my mom for a whole day or two. It hasn't happened yet in a long while. 

When we finish our dishes, I leave the table to head to the bathroom. Mom and dad are engaged in conversation about her work which is a little awkward. Because the last time they spoke of it was when she admitted to fucking her boss. It upsets me of course but I don’t want to make a scene so I excuse myself. On the way to the bathroom I pass by a few tables, most of them are people in business suits and all of them are old.

Meh. 

I’m slightly disappointed there weren’t any cute guys on the way, but oh well. I enter the bathroom and fix my hair, which is looking frizzier than usual. I run the tap and wet my hands so that I can rake my hands through it. There’s a knot at the end which gets stuck for a bit but I manage to work it out. I adjust my skirt which had ridden up higher than I liked and straightened my top. 

When I leave I’m determined to tell mom that we need to go home. I’m feeling tired, and I want to start on some homework that the teacher has emailed me. It’s no fun at all really, and I don’t want to leave it last minute as usual. Something I did a lot in the past. 

When me and mom leave Dad heads to the bathroom first. He gives me a peck on the head and promises to bring home some pizza for dinner tonight much to mothers dismay. She doesn’t like takeaways and only home-cooked meals but I don’t care. She makes her own food well now. 

Just as we're about to head out the restaurant doors, I catch sight of a tall familiar, and dark male through the glass doors. My body halts for a second and my mind goes static before I realize It’s bloody Kylo Ren, he’s headed towards the restaurant with an older man and woman in front of him. He hasn’t seen me yet and he’s frowning as usual with his hands in his pockets. He has his head lowered as if he’s burning a hole in the floor while he follows whom I assume are his parents. 

I immediately turn to mom and grab her arm, surprising her, and she gives me a puzzled look, “Violet what is it?”

I start tugging at her in the opposite direction where he won’t be able to see us, but I look suspicious while I do it and I don’t want to ganer too much attention at the same time. A frustrating process because they're coming closer and closer to the glass doors. I’m starting to sweat a little bit under my top and everything feels hot all of a sudden. 

Of all freakin restaurants and he comes to this one! Damn it! 

“Mom can we go back? I need to go to the bathroom?” I ask my eyes darting at the slowly nearing figures. 

Her eyes widened, “Honey you just went to the bathroom,” she says.

“I know but I forgot something in there.” I’m not sure why but I really don’t want Kylo to see me. I don’t want to talk to him either. “I forgot my phone there even though it’s in the pocket of my skirt.

“Okay then,” finally god damn it. “You go and I’ll just wait outside okay honey?” I nod quickly and then zoom away towards the bathroom with no intention of looking back for fear he will see me. 

When I’m about to enter the women's bathroom, I see dad come out of the men's and he gives me a confused look.“Your back?”

I don’t bother to stop, “I left something in there.”

I’m in the bathroom for what feels like ten minutes pretending to wash my hands, fix my hair, again. In addition to patting down my skirt and making sure I don’t smell bad, because I don’t want to look weird while waiting in the bathroom while women come in and go.

Mom pokes her head in through the door, brows confused. “Honey are you okay?”

I nod back, “yeah um sorry about that. Should we go?”

She agrees and then gives me a knowing look, “Kylo Ren is here…” She trails off and I pretend like I don’t know what she’s talking about. “He walked in with his parents. I assume that’s who they are.”

“Really?” I ask, knowingly fully well that she has some small suspicion about the reason for my strange behavior. “I didn’t know that.”

I did not want to bump into Kylo and it’s not that I didn’t like him, but more like I didn’t have the energy to speak to a grown man when we both had better things to do. 

Mom steps aside when an older woman passes by, who gives me a small smile before entering. I return her smile and whisper to my mother, “Lets go.”

She nods back with a questioning look, and we both leave. My palms are sweating, and I feel hot under my loose white top. My eyes are darting back and forth trying to see where Kylo would be sitting so that I could avoid that area. 

There they are! 

I spot them at the far corner and I sigh in content because he can’t see me at his angle. He’s sitting with his parents, and the look on his face looked far from impressed. He’s in his usual ensemble of black, black and black which contrasts against his extremely pale skin. 

Just as I turn around to the doors, I see dad approach their table but I don’t look back and keep walking away really fast. I walk so quickly to the exit that mom has to catch up in her ridiculous high heel, “Honey wait.”

I must look ridiculous but I’m a girl on a mission and that was to get the fuck away.

When I’m about to reach the doors for the third time this day I hear my name being called. “Violet sweetheart,” It’s frickin dad’s voice and I almost cuss out loud. I reluctantly turn and see dad waving me over from Kylo’s table. All four of them are looking and I can’t help but feel my stomach drop. 

Mom gives me a nod, “Shall we go to them? Your father wanted to have a quick chat with Kylo and his parents.”

I’m sweating bullets, and my heart is palpitating in my chest. I’m literally dragging myself behind my mom who walks confidently to their table.

Kylo’s unimpressed face has changed, and his mouth is parted as I catch his gaze in a slow descent down my legs. They linger there inappropriately longer than necessary which makes me want to hide behind mom and glare at him. It makes me wish I had worn pants instead.   
He swipes a thumb across his full lips before tearing his gaze away. 

Kylo’s parents are completely opposite of Kylo in terms of demeanor. His mother has an open welcoming smile, and her eyes crinkle at the end as she introduces herself and her husband Han. 

While Kylo is night, his parents are the sun.

We talk about the incident briefly with Leia and Han, while dad chats with Kylo. Twice or more I make awkward eye contact with Kylo. He is in deep conversation with Mom, while he asks me a question or two to try and include me in the loop of things. I distract myself by going on my phone and Dad is giving me a disapproving look from the end of the table. He finds phone use at the table incredibly rude, but I don’t care. They talk about business, politics and work and it goes right over my head. 

Of Course, I’m not on my phone the whole time since Leia and Han ask what I want to do when I leave high school. I tell them I’m not sure, maybe study art or something in University but then Leia's smile drops a little and I realize that was the wrong thing to say. I remember that Kylo said his parents wanted him to be in either politics or law and medicine. 

Kylo is focused on his mom's face when she asks the question and his expression darkens. His gaze hardens and then he turns to ask my dad something. Han clears his throat and then starts asking me if I enjoy going to work with dad. I immediately nod and start raving on about how cool the sets are, and the people that work there. 

Mom has a big smile on her face, and I try not to roll my eyes. She’s laughing here and there at whatever Kylo says and it makes me want to cringe. She’s got her head tilted in that way that indicates she’s incredibly attracted to the company she’s in. It makes me a little angry since she probably does the same thing to her new partner/boss. 

When the conversation closes to an end, we finally leave. Thank Fuck. 

I say goodbye to everyone and Kylo who gives me a tilt forward of his head. When I turn to leave I feel his gaze burning into my back and I try not to tug my skirt down my thighs. It’s not short but it feels for some reason indecent as I catch a few old men gazing at my legs as I pass a few tables. 

Mom takes an embarrassingly long time saying goodbye since she's too busy checking out Kylo when he stands. I try not to turn red as she casually grabs his arm which makes me want to die of shame. I end up just leaving in haste and making my way to the car park. 

I’m practically clenching my fists and I try not to imagine the look on dad’s face. It sickens me and I all want to do is go home and take a shot of tequila. I know exactly where dad hides his stash of alcohol, and when I’m feeling really low, then I rummage through his alcoholic collection and start taking them to calm my moods. Dad allows me to drink but not too much, however, I usually don’t do it when he’s around. 

The last thing I want my dad to think is that his daughter is going to end up with alcohol addiction. Anyways speaking of tequila, one or two shots would suffice. The car ride home is not silent. Mom talks a lot, but its mostly about how nice Kylo is. 

I fucking want to punch her but I end up putting up the car radio on really high and belting out the lyrics to wap by Cardi B. It’s hilarious but it makes me feel better and mom’s response at the lyrics makes me wheeze. 

When I get home, I find dad's tequila and drink more than three shots. 

I really wish I hadn’t, because mom finds me crying in the bathroom with the wireless speaker booming, the shower running and me half naked listening to Doja cat’s ‘like that’ at maximum high volume. 

It doesn’t end well when she has to half carry me out while talking to dad on the phone. 

Well fuck.


	7. Chapter 7

When dad gets home, we have a very long conversation with mom on the side. It was mostly about how I shouldn’t have raided his alcohol stash. Also the fact that I drank myself to the point of vomiting when mom took me out of the bathroom. Dad gives me a warning and says not to do it again and I all but sulk against the sofa. When it is over I stroll back to my room feeling extremely tired. Eventually, after lying in bed for 20 minutes, I finally fall asleep.

The next day is not eventful. Mom asks if I want to go to the mall with her, but I decline. The hangover from the day before leaves me bone tired. This is alright because at least I’m not spewing up or end up with a headache. She leaves me for a few hours to visit a friend of hers and I’m happy to be free of her presence.

I spend the time doing some maths homework, texting Bella and Ryan as well as Jessica. She heard about the accident and she wants to come and visit me sometime during the week, which I look forward to. Apparently, she has more news about Kylo’s friend Vicrul and I’m eager to know whether they got to see each other more after that night he came over, and then vomited all over Jessica's rug.

When I check if there is anything else to do an idea pops into my head. What is that movie that Kylo suggested to Jess I watch? I rack my brain and then eventually type down Kylo’s name on my laptop. I’m on my bed as I haven’t bothered to move anywhere else in Dad’s apartment.

It’s one of those days where I can’t be bothered leaving the room unless it’s for the bathroom. When Kylo’s name pop’s up, it is his Wikipedia, his IMDB, and everything else related to him that shows up. I scroll through his biography and read that he grew up in California with his parents. Leia and Han Solo were the owners of First Order Global Inc. They were an American multinational franchise company that managed and franchised hotels and resorts. It was founded by Kylo’s grandfather Anakin Skywalker. There is more information online about how Kylo had refused to take on a role in the company, which had briefly severed his relationship with his parents.

I don’t know how much is actually true but given how Kylo acts around his parents, it’s safe to say that they never really got along even before that. I realize I’m actually reading way too much into Kylo, and so I get a little bit embarrassed. Instead, I search up the movies he's done and the list is unbearably long. Propping my head against my pillow, I scroll through the list on my laptop.

So he’s done a lot of thrillers, horror, romances. I keep going to through the list of movies until I stumble on the french movie that he had suggested. It’s of course french. ‘L’amour Dans la Chaleur’ I try to pronounce it and it comes out really bad so instead, I click on what the movie summary is about.

_‘During his vacation in France, a recently divorced American tourist Samuel finds himself falling in love with a beautiful and young french girl named Marie. Unable to resist her they find themselves traveling to the Bahamas for an extended holiday and to explore the fixating passion that has long been brewing between them.’_

When I finish reading it, I debate whether it’s a good idea to watch it since the rating is Adults only. I think about how much Bella would react excessively if I told her about how I watched Kylo’s really erotic movie. Not that I wanted too...actually, I mean I was kind of a little bit curious.

Thinking it’s a stupid idea I push the laptop away and huff. Would I be able to look Kylo in his eyes if I watched it without blushing? Jessica said she couldn’t look him in the eye for an entire week. Hmm…. Probably not. Just then I hear a buzz from my phone and see Bella's name in the group chat with me, her and Ryan.

Curious I click on the message.

**3.45 pm BELLA <3 : hEy babes, what you upto??? **

**Violet: Nothing just watching some youtube. wbu?**

It’s a total lie but I wasn’t going to admit to Bella I was looking up Kylo.

**BELLA <3 : nothing just got home from school. Anyways need to share this link click on it.**

**Violet: What’s about??**

She sends the link and surprise surprise Kylo’s name is in the heading. ** _‘Kylo Ren spotted with new Lady friend at Hotel President Wilson in Switzerland.’_**

Holy Fuck he’s in Switzerland? I just saw him yesterday? He must have left yesterday after the restaurant, I think to myself. I’m so confused that I click and read the article. Apparently, he did arrive there late last night. Dad didn’t mention anything, which is meh, I guess. Anyways wasn’t he supposed to be filming with Dad? The article photo is taken with Kylo and a woman hanging on to his arm as they enter the lavish hotel. Surprisingly Kylo is wearing a men's white dress top which hugs his broad figure and black trousers that accentuate his long legs. For once he doesn’t look like he’s brooding like when he was with his parents. The girl he’s seen with is stunning. She’s dressed in a black tight silk dress that showcases her curves, giving off a very sensual but sexy look. Another buzz from my interrupts me, and this time it’s Ryan who has joined the group chat.

**Ryan King: hey guys. What's the tea….oh hold up...omg r we talking about Kylo Ren again…..hey is that you Violet?**

The question catches me off guard.

**Violet: What? I’m at home. What are u on about?**

**BELLA <3 : He meant that the chick hanging on Kylo’s arm kinda looks like you babes.**

**Violet: Wtf, no she doesn't. She’s super hot though. I’m at home….**

**BELLA <3 : whatever I think your hotter. Weird she’s got your frame and hair type….aniways yESSSS Ryannnn …. Check out the link…. **

**Ryan King:........holy moly. He's in switzerland already?**

**Violet: meh, he teleported there lol**

**Ryan King: WTF! Hes staying at the Hotel President Wilson!???**

**BELLA <3 : omg Ryan, no he’s staying at your basement…. **

**Ryan King: lol wouldn't that be nice*wink wink*….anyways holy shit it’s frickin $80,000 for one night there at the Royal Penthouse suite….**

I gasp, holy shit. He had to be kidding.

**Violet: Wtf. How do you know that? And that’s insane. Your joking right??? There is no way a suite costs that much for one night???**

**Ryan King: yeah it totally is ... Scroll down and keep reading. He’s loaded, aren’t his parents rich or something…..**

**BELLA <3 : yeah i think so, also he’s an actor...dollar sign material. …*bling bling***

**Ryan King: total sugar daddy material though….*drooling***

**Violet: *facepalms* gross…**

**BELLA <3 : Anyways Violet with ur connections can you by chance yah know….. **

**Ryan King: Totally yes! Violet, u have to get Kylo to get a picture with us!!!! *internal squealing** *

**BELLA <3 : um excuse me bij, don’t u have a boyfriend Ryan……….don’t need u to steal my man if Violet doesn’t want him **

**Violet: u can have him…...never was interested in the first place….**

**Ryan King:....i can have two bij at the same time…..if i want...**

I roll my eyes and chuckle while scrolling down to the bottom of the article.

**‘Source reveals Kylo and his new mystery lady friend are spending time in Geneva's most expensive luxury hotel'**

_“Since Kylo recently arrived in Geneva, he’s been really splashing major cash. He’s got a new girl at his arm this time too. Unlike his previous types, she’s super cute. Apparently, they're planning to host a little gathering with a few friends there. The suite does boast 12 luxury rooms...”_

I shake my head. Okay definitely didn’t need to read more about Kylo. I’m kind of embarrassed I spent that much time talking about him. However, the conversations between Bella and Ryan are super hilarious. When I’m finished with the group chat I text everyone goodbye. It’s almost 7 pm and then I hear mom’s heels against the floor as she enters the apartment.

She comes into the room with a bag of salad stuff with avocado and chicken. I eat for a bit in the kitchen before retreating back into my room. After that I debate about whether I should watch the movie or not, I mean nobody will find out. And it’s not like I’m going to tell Jessica about it… 20 minutes later and I succumb and write the movie sight. I search it up and then see an option to watch it. Curiously I click on the reviews. They are generally favorable and some of them have me blushing in my seat. The rating is 4 out of 5. Hmmm….

**‘Okay hear me out guys, but this movie literally had me drooling in my seat. If you thought fifty shades of grey was scandalous, then you're going to faint in this one. Kylo Ren played an excellent Samuel.’**

**‘Totally sexy, hot, steamy, and not only that but we get an eyeful of Kylo Ren's ass, and other things…..’**

**‘I wish I was Marie.’**

**‘I can’t believe they allowed this in a film on Cinemas. I had to walk out, it was too much pornography for me to handl** e.’

**‘Oh my god, it’s like 365 days but like better.’**

“Oh my god, I can’t watch this,”I say to myself after going through the reviews. I start fanning my face and then question whether I really wanted to see Kylo’s naked ass on screen. I mean the guy was old. But then… My curiosity got the better of me and I spent an hour and a half watching it.

There were a lot of scenes that I had to skip and a lot of them were mostly sex scenes. It’s weird seeing Kylo like this, naked, hot, and sweating. I have to admit that I felt a weird tingly feeling in my stomach and the whole time I felt my palms sweating. This wasn’t good at all. One scene had me squeezing my eyes shut when I accidentally saw Kylo’s penis. Oh my god, I definitely could not look him in the eye after this. Although his body was appealing, I had to remind myself that I can’t get this flustered when I see him next week after school. At some point during the scene, mom knocked on my door.

I quickly shut the laptop and told her to come in. When she did she gave me one look and asked, “Are you okay? You look red?” I nod enthusiastically, “Yeah why wouldn’t I be? I’m fine!” I smile at her and then casually lay back on my bed. “Alright then, call me when you need anything, dad’s not here yet.” She gives me another concerned look before shutting the door.

I lay back on my bed debating my life choices. I don’t think I can act normal around him anymore without images of his naked body flashing through my mind. I groan and then eventually put my laptop away. No wonder why Jess couldn’t look him in the eye after watching it. It was like watching porn with a great plot.

“Arghhhhh, damn.” Kylo, I really hope you cancel on me next week for after school rides and miraculously get a virus or something, I think to myself.

I really really hope you do.


	8. Chapter 8

My week off of school passes by so quickly that I find myself lying depressed in bed all day on a Saturday at noon. The enjoyment and fun I had with Ryan and Bella when they came over Thursday after school was gone too soon and the disappointment that I felt when they couldn’t sleep over had me sulking in my room for a long time. I don’t want to go to school at all but then at the same time I want to attend so that I can spend time with my friends. I refrained from begging them to sleep over since there were not enough beds for them to sleep on. Mom took the spare room and the sofa didn’t look too comfortable even when Kylo slept on it. Regrettably, that tad bit of information accidentally slipped through the conversation when the topic of the accident came up. Bella and Ryan literally took tik tok videos of themselves caressing the sofa. It was kind of hilarious. Even Ryan couldn’t hold back his laughter while I was rolling my eyes and laughing from the kitchen. The whole ordeal is a little awkward because my previous few nights were filled with dreams of Kylo from his movie that I watched. I woke up several times sweating and an ache in between my legs.

It’s wrong to dream about him like that, almost like I was stealing his personal form in a dream state so that my mind could make out those twisted fantasies. They were fantasies I did not want. How am I ever going to act normal around him next week, knowing fully well that I watched his erotic movie? Would he think I watched it? It was inappropriate of him to suggest it in the first place to me! A sixteen-year-old. God, is he into that stuff? Is he a pedophile? God, I hope not. Imagining famous actor Kylo Ren being a pedophile is not a pretty sight. I shake my head of those thoughts not wanting to think too much into it. Mom was kind enough to cook some food for us when Bella and Ryan were over, even though I wanted pizza and sushi. Although having her over was hard initially in the start of the week, eventually, I had to allow myself to accept what happened and move with my life. It’s not easy, at all but there was progress being made.

I stopped being so angry, and annoyed with her. I just woke up on a Thursday morning and decided that If I kept holding on to being hurt, I would cause further pain to myself. In the morning of Friday, I had messaged Jess if she was coming over but she said she'll pop by the restaurant tonight. It’s another event I’m not sure my anxiety can handle. Dad organized a few of the crew from his film production to celebrate the end of the film process at a popular Mexican restaurant called Cosme. Some couldn’t make it and others had family responsibilities to attend to so there was enough space for me and Mom to fill in. Dad says that he’s been to Cosme a few times and thinks the menu is delicious. The idea is appealing to me at the same time, since I wanted Mexican food. When it’s time to get ready for dinner at the restaurant, I have a small crisis where I can’t decide what to wear.

I’m looking at my closet where all my dresses are and they are all gathering dust from neglect. It's not like I go to fancy places often. I mean I wouldn't mind wearing sweats and a hoodie. It’s more my thing. I spend almost way too long trying to match a skirt and a shirt, but then when I put it on it looks insanely wrong fitting. The colors are wrong and it looks out of place. I put it away and then rummage through my closet again and then stumble on a dress that I have never worn. Well, several dresses anyway. I don’t wear them often. It’s white and a little too small with short sleeves, but I shrug and try it on anyway.

There’s some lacework at the abdomen which looks nice. When I slide it on and then look in the mirror, I glance over my shoulder to see if the back is too short. It is. Someone knocks on my bedroom door. “Honey, can I come in?” It’s mom.

“Yeah?” I don’t really mean it in a way for her to enter but she does anyway. She’s donning her dark red lipstick and black eyeshadow and her hair is in the process of being styled. She dons a blue silk dress that shows a little too much bosom and her Louboutin heels are insanely high. I’m not sure how she walks in those things. When she sees the dress her eyes widen and then she smiles.

“You look beautiful. I haven’t seen you in a dress in a long time.” She comes closer as she fawns over me. It is uncomfortable to deal with. The dress was one of many that Mom has gotten me over the years.

I rarely wear them as I prefer simple clothes like shirts, jeans or hoodies, etc. I don’t wear them to impress anyone but only for comfort, so me trying on the dress is way out of my element.

I shake my head, “I don’t know mom, it’s too short don’t you think?” I start tugging down the material and to no avail, it rides back up. I have no idea why mom bought something so revealing. Well, the legs anyway, because the dress top fits against my boobs perfectly and doesn’t draw attention to them. I cup them and eye them distastefully, “Hm my boobs are small, I look flat-chested from this angle.”

Mom places her hands on my shoulders and then gently moves me back so she could eye the material. “Leave your boobs alone and no I don’t think it’s short. Mid-thigh is fine.” She looks at the back of the dress and then shrugs, “ It looks alright to me. Trust me honey I've seen shorter.”

Yeah, yours actually. Flashes of the past when mom used to dress in very short scandalous outfit’s spring up traumatizing memories. As much as I love her confidence, I’m really glad she’s toned it down. She guides me in front of the mirror and she smiles again, “You look so beautiful. This dress was from a friend. She owns a beautiful brides boutique in New Zealand. I had her design it especially for you.”

I frown, “You got me a bride mini dress?” That’s not weird at all. The thought is uncomfortable, and I can’t imagine myself being in a wedding dress either.

Anyway, I’m not sure I’ll ever get married in the future. I’m going to die single with no boyfriend and several cats. Meh, I guess it’s not a bad way to go. Oh, but then? No sex? Hmmm, I definitely don’t want to die a sad virgin. She laughs, “No honey, you're much too young for that. Her boutique is for everyone, not just brides. White looks gorgeous on you so I got her to design a dress that fit your measurements. They’re inspired by bridal designs.”

I refrain from grimacing, “I don’t know.”

Mom is gazing into the mirror with a glazed look in her eyes, “God you've grown up so much now. I wish grandpa and grandmother could see my little girl. Although you're not so little anymore.” My grandparents passed away when I was seven. I miss them a lot and the thought saddens me. Mom’s right. They never got to see me grow up. “It’s a little bit too much,” I fidget with the hem of the dress. No, it's too out of my element.

People will stare. “I’m going to take it off.” I'm in the process of removing the dress when mom protests.

She puts her hands on my shoulders and squeezes gently, “Honey honestly you look beautiful. Look at you.” She lifts my hand and encourages me to turn, “You look stunning.” I groan, “I don’t want to look stunning.

I want to look normal.” My phone ringing interrupts and I grab it from the bed. I see Bella’s name requesting a video call on messenger. I wonder if today was going to be about what Kylo was going to have for breakfast.” I groan. Please, I don’t want to talk about Kylo today. I cross my fingers and then answer her call. Her face appears. Surprisingly she looks dolled up. I then remember she mentioned having a cousin's birthday tonight.

Apparently, they were heading into the clubs afterward. I don’t question that Bella’s got a fake ID since her other cousin Mario makes them. Bella has shiny gold eyelids that compliment her amber eyes and her hair is in beautiful dark waves. She also seems to be in the process of getting ready as she dons a bathrobe. “Wow, you look amazing,” I compliment. “Fantastic actually.,” I add.

In the corner of my eye, I see mom take out her phone to take a picture of me in the white dress. I hope she doesn't share it on her Facebook or anything. Bella grins and then does a double-take, “Thank you, I’m going for the sensual look you know. Holy shit, are you in a fricken dress?.”

She’s wearing extremely long lashes and they flutter widely while taking a closer look at me. It’s not surprising that she’s never seen me in one. “Yes, unfortunately. Remember the dinner I told you about on Thursday?” I ask.

She nods, “Yes at that beautiful Cosme restaurant. Me and my parents have been there once. Oh my god. Give me a proper look with the camera back a bit.” I do as she says and she gasps, “Bloody hell Violet, you look great! You actually suit dresses. Oh my god, I wish my boobs were smaller like yours.”

Offended I give her a scowl, “Wow thanks….” I add dryly, “ can we swap?” Bella is a c cup and I try not to make it obvious that I’m super envious that she fills out nicely in the chest. Meanwhile, I look like I had just entered puberty with my chest.

She laughs, “Those little titties look real good in that dress, mine are too big.” She asks me to turn around so I can show her the dress from the back. Mom offers to hold the phone.

“Oh my god, Where have you been hiding the body you bitch. Look at that waist and those hips.”

Blushing I take the phone away from Mom, “Shut up. I want to swap with you. Your curvier than an hourglass. Your ass is amazing too, like tik tok big.” Bella had a butt that I admit stared at more than a few times.

She smirks and then dramatically flips her hair back, “I know, mom’s genes are great, otherwise, I would have gone to Kylie Jenner’s surgeon and get that iconic ass she has. Thank god. But honestly, that dress is amazing. You should wear that at dinner, and don’t change.” Mom agrees and then slips out of my room when I motion for her to go.

She rolls her eyes and then goes to the bathroom to finish styling her hair. “I don’t know, I think it’s too short.” I face the camera to the mirror. “Yeah, I want an ass like Beyonce. She’s great.”

She combs her fingers through her hair, “I know right, but, bitch please, I have dresses that show half my ass when I go out clubbing. Your body is great. Show it off.” She then gives me an evil coy smile and I don’t like where it’s going. “Kylo’s going to be there isn’t he?” She wiggles her perfectly arched eyebrows and I sigh. “Oh my god, he is, well damn. He’s going to want his hands all over that body baby.” She sticks out her lips and makes a kissing face and then winks. “Who knows, he might take you to Switzerland next time.”

I wince, “Ew, gross.” I lower my voice and glance at my doorway where I can hear the bathroom on the opposite end. “Keep your voice down my mom’s nearby and no way, If I’m wearing this dress I’m wearing a coat over it. I’m thinking-”

She cuts me and then wiggles her finger, “Ah, no, don’t change the subject.” Her camera moves and she proceeds to lie down on her bed, “Here’s what you're going to do.”

I shake my head, “I’m not doing anything you're going to say, Bella,” I scoff. I place my phone at the top of my dresser facing me while I put some anti-frizz in my hair to make my curls shine and controlled. My hair looked fine today since mom spent an outrageous amount of money getting me expensive hair products that I thought I didn’t need. Until afterward and I was shocked at how it made my hair look healthier.

“You're going to do what I say regardless because I’m one of your best friends. Anyway, as soon as you enter the restaurant, remove your coat and before you roll your eyes at me. You're going to find out which seat at the table Kylo is going to sit at, and then you're going to sit your perky ass next to him.”

I shake my head as I carefully put on some concealer and then thick layers of mascara. “Yeah yeah…” I say not really paying attention to what she’s saying.

Annoyance flashes through her tone as she speaks, “Excuse me are you listening to me. If you're going to wear a coat, wear that pretty beige one I bought for you for your birthday.”

I nod absentmindedly while glossing over my lips, “Yeap I will.” Eventually, before me and Bella have finished speaking Dad calls out from the hallway that we have to leave. Bella gives me a wink, “ I’ll text you later bitch. If you can, meet me at the cubs tonight after dinner. See if you can convince Kylo to drop you off. Maybe even give him a handy…” She laughs as I give her a disgusted look further encouraging her lewd comments. “You might need to use two hands, you know. He’s got big cock energy.”

“Oh my god, your unbelievable do you know that?”

She winks, “I know I am.”

I sigh, “My parents wont let me go to the clubs and you're overestimating my relationship or lack of relationship with Kylo. I barely know the guy, and it’s my dad’s employee. I'll text you during dinner bye!” I hang up before she inputs.

My phone then vibrates and I receive a text from her.

**Bella <3 : bij how dare u hang up on me. Anyways still love your ass <3**

**Violet: love you too x have to go. <3 **

**Bella <3 : If you can’t find a ride text me.**

**Violet: I don’t know if I’ll be able to.**

She doesn’t reply back after that, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sneak out from the apartment either. I've only been out once with Bella to a club and Dad found out. He grounded me although Mom was more lenient about stuff like that. I could lie to them that Bella was having a party at home instead of heading out into the clubs. I end up slipping on a pair of sneakers to go with my outfit as well as the beige coat Bella gave me for my birthday. Mom gives my shoes a critical eye and then sighs before suggesting some heels that would fit me. I kindly decline. Dad gives me a brief look when he notices my dress, “ That dress Looks a little short honey.” He adds and then mom waves him away.

“She’s fine, doesn’t she look beautiful?” She asks, and Dad nods as he lets out a reluctant sigh. before we head out into the parking lot. Usually, there would be an argument about how I shouldn’t wear it and then how I should just leave it on between mom and dad, but I know they are keeping the energy smooth while Mom’s here. I didn’t have the energy to tell them to shush either so their relationship has been rather smooth during the week. But I know that it will never be the same again for me to see them together. The restaurant is mostly busy for the night just as we enter. Dad says we're fifteen minutes late and gives me a look. “Sorry?” I say sheepishly. I receive a text that Jess will be there and I smile. At Least I have someone to talk to. I wonder if Vicrul was going to be there since he seems like really likes her despite their differences. A part of me hopes that Kylo won’t be there which is such a mean thing to think, but I don’t think I’ll talk to him normally without blushing.

I follow Dad alongside Mom and notice the interior design of the restaurant is simple but modern and sleek. The walls are dark grey, and there are a few dark pillars in the middle of the room. There is a bar at the right just as we enter which is bustling with people. The scent of food makes my mouth water and I’m excited to eat mexican food. The tables are mostly full except for the ones against the walls, where I spot a few familiar people from Dad’s work. I’m assuming the empty seats are for me and dad and mom. I also see the familiar blonde woman who held the meeting with dad concerning the weird dude who wanked in the storage room. The memory of it makes me smirk.

I finally see caramel blonde ringlets and immediately my face lights up when I see Jess waving from the table. She looks stunning in a warm honey dress that fits against her hourglass figure perfectly and I can’t help but notice that Vicrul is also there. He’s sitting next to her as he speaks with a few others from work at the opposite sides of the table. He looks put together compared to when I last saw him. I can see Jess is not affected negatively by his presence since her smile is literally like a lamp. She motions for me to sit next to her as Mom and Dad are both at the bar. I happily slide in next to her and then she gives me a hug. She smells uniquely of warmth, frangipani and just flowers. Not too sweet in a bad way either. Must be her perfume.

A few of Dad’s work crew smile and say hello including Vicrul who calls me Johnny’s daughter again. I look around and notice Kylo’s not here. I feel a sense of relief pass through me and then I pour myself a glass of water. “This menu looks great. I haven't had Mexican in a while,” Jessica comments, and I nod.

“Me too, it’s been so long. I’m starving.”

Jess leans in next to me and whispers, “You look gorgeous, and that dress is amazing.”

I blush, “Thank you. Mom got it for me. You look absolutely breathtaking too.” “Thank you. I've only worn this dress once before at my cousin's wedding.”

“Oh, nice. It shows off your curves.”

“Thank you.” She then glances at Vicrul.

There’s something different about their dynamic now. Maybe it’s because she’s not inching away from him, or it’s the way she keeps glancing at him. There’s a fondness in her eyes now, and I’m starting to believe he must have done something right to earn her forgiveness.

“You can take off your coat too. You're going to get really hot.” Jess motions to the thick material.

I shrug, “I should be fine.” I wasn’t really comfortable with taking it off. I sip at my glass of water and notice mom and dad are still at the bar chatting to the bartender. I wanted something sweet but I guess I could get it later. “So Vicrul huh?” I say to Jess quietly and her eyes widen a little.

“Oh yes, believe it or not, we're dating again.” She smiles as she tucks a honey blonde curl behind one ear.

“Oh my gosh really?” I gasp and then glance at him while he engages in conversation with another male opposite of our table. I’m right then, he must have done something amazingly right.

She nods, “Honestly at first I thought he would just apologize to me again during coffee after the phone call but…” She trails off and then grins as she reminisces, “He took me shopping for a new rug to make it up for his behavior. This time I got one that has super cute floral designs. I even convinced him to get one of the same patterns for his living room.” The image of Vicrul’s all-white marble place with a splash of floral designs makes me giggle. “No way I can’t believe he actually did it.”

“It is and uh he showed me..”

I smirk, “Oh he did?”

She blushes, “Yep, he did.” Vicrul huh, you lucky dude.

I place my chin against my palm, “ Honestly I’m so happy for you Jess. That’s amazing.”

“Thank you, girl. I think it wouldn’t have been possible without Kylo.” Oh, I see although I’m a little bit confused as to how Kylo would have helped in the situation. Jessica nodded, “Yeah he spoke to me before meeting with Vicrul. Told me Vicrul hasn’t bothered to date in the last few years. But this is the first time he’s been really invested in wanting to get to know me better minus the whole coming to the apartment event.”

I guess it would make sense for Kylo to help out his friend. “Yeah, I guess if you're happy to date him then I’m happy for you Jess.”

“Thank’s Violet. Oh speaking of Kylo…” She looks around the restaurant. “You okay?” I ask.

“Oh yeah, Vicrul said Kylo is coming. I don’t see him,” She peers over my shoulder and then turns back to Vicrul. “Is he still coming?” Well damn, I think. There goes my ability to act normal. I get a little hot and then drink some more of my cold water. My palms are beginning to sweat again and I can feel the happy start of my anxiety blooming in my chest. Taking in deep breaths I start downing my water to distract myself.

Vicrul flips out his phone and then checks his screen, “Yeah he said he’s going to be in 5 minutes. He’s late. Typical.”

I’m in the process of checking my phone too when the waiter approaches. A few more of Dad’s colleagues approach on the other side of the table and sit in the empty seats. There’s one empty one beside me which I think mom will sit in and two empty one’s on the opposite end. I’m too busy checking out the menu when I’m hit with that familiar masculine scent that gives my stomach butterflies.

Leather, Bergamot, and hints of mint reach my nose. I try not to think about why I’m feeling this way. I look up in time to see mom and join the opposite of us and then I feel his presence beside me at the end of the table. It’s him. I reluctantly look up when everyone greets Kylo. He gives me a nod of his head and his gaze feels heavy and hot when he drags it away as he says hello to the people at the table. His eyes are like two dark pools that suck you in and I’m having trouble clearing my thoughts. I groan internally when I feel a fluttering feeling in my stomach. I can’t deal with this. I can’t deny that the dreams I've been having the past few nights was just my brain telling me that I actually was starting to harbor a crush on the man. I remind myself that I can’t let my thoughts get distracted by a man who could be my dad.

It’s a mammoth effort and it’s very embarrassing that I’m starting to feel like being around Kylo isn’t a bad thing. He’s wearing a blue dress top rolled up at the sleeves and black slacks. There are two buttons that are unbuttoned at the top and I flush when I see his chest. His hair is in black waves that frame his face. I can’t help but remember the dream’s that had overwhelmed me in the past few nights. He looks pale as ever and the contrast against the color of his hair suits him in a tall dark and handsome way. The energy is different as to when we had last seen each other at the restaurant, maybe it’s the way I receive him now after seeing him naked in his movie. I clear my throat and try to distract myself from flushing red.

I feel like I’m sweating underneath my coat and mom encourages me to take it off seeing as the temperature went up. Jess who is on my left side, is a comfortable presence but my right side feels like it’s burning as soon as Kylo sits in the spare seat. I fidget with the end of the coat before deciding I rather should just get it over and done with. When I do, I can’t help but feel self-conscious.

I slip it off one shoulder reluctantly and then eventually the other. When I do, I instantly feel a wave of relief as I fan myself with the menu. Jess smiles and asks if I'm okay to which I nod in reply. My skin breaks out in goosebumps and I feel exposed. I can feel Kylo’s eyes on me and I avoid eye contact with him. I subtly tug the hem of my dress down my thighs but the stubborn fabric retreats back.

I shift closer to the table so that Kylo doesn’t see my bare legs so exposed to him. Violet is going to love hearing this. The air shifts and people from the end of the restaurant are openly looking in our direction or, more to Kylo's direction once they realize who he is. It is his iconic aquiline features that give him away and his stature which towers over everyone in the restaurant. There are whispers being heard and then Kylo’s name is mentioned in low tones before I spot a few people with phones out to take his picture. He ignores it of course but judging by the feeling I get from him, he is annoyed by it. Mom gives him a smile and I roll my eyes.

Dad stands up and our table immediately goes quiet, “Now that Kylo and everyone is here I would like to say a special thanks to everyone who has been supportive of this project right from the start. I know alot of our team members couldn’t be here tonight due to personal commitments but we hope them all the best till we join again for our next production. This year hasn’t been easy for some but it’s a really big blessing that we could all make it here together safely. Also, I just want to thank everyone for putting up with my bullshit sometimes and Violet who tells me to shut up when I need to.”

There’s a wave of laughter and then Dad calms everyone down, “Anyways I’ll stop blabbering on since a lot of people were late and everyone is starving. Just a reminder that after this if anyone is interested there’s a great pub open down Queen Street if you're wanting to go.” I instantly light up. Hopefully, mom and dad go out and then I can convince them I can go to the ‘house party’ at Bella’s place. Dad finally sits down and then waiters start taking our orders. Jessica mumbles that she's starving and groans when one of the crew members takes a long time with one of the closer waiters.

“Hello,” his deep voice instantly catches my poor attempts at trying to read the menu.

"Hi," I reply. 

“Find a dish you like?” His tone is low but I hear it clearly through the sounds of chatter and dishes clinking. I swallow nervously and then glance at him and immediately pull my gaze away. No one should look at anyone that intensely. Images of the movie flash before my eyes and I clear my throat. I can’t think about his penis at this time, I groan. He smells incredibly good. I hate how hyperaware I have become being around him.

Even Kylo sitting down next to me makes me feel like I’m next to a giant. God, how did he get so bloody big? Han and Leia were short so I don’t get how he turned out so massive. Maybe it’s genes or Leia just ate the right stuff during pregnancy. I place the menu on the table and point at my order, “That one. The uni infladita a la Mexicana, Avacado..” I do my best to pronounce it, earning a hum of approval from Kylo.

“But I’m open to suggestions.”

He leans in a little closer and my bare arms tingle, “I heard this one is good. A lot of flavors and the fish is cooked beautifully.” He places a massive hand on top of my menu and points to the dish. I notice how long and thick his fingers are and I bite my lower lip. Something aches in my lower stomach and I’m ashamed to feel my thighs clenching. I regret watching that movie. I feel the back of my neck getting hot underneath my hair as some of my long curly strands fall forward shielding the side of my face from his view.

“Oh, if you say so.” I nod and then glance at him and instantly regret it. He is close enough that I can make out the pores in his face and the individual strands in his dark lashes. His eyes drag from my menu and on to mine and I’m instantly struck by his dark heated gaze. It’s wrong. The way he’s looking at me feels wrong and too intimate. Especially for someone who is much older than me. Bella’s voice echoes in my head and it’s about the girls he's been seeing. Too young looking although they were not minors, similar frames and it’s a pattern.

It’s not right. I know it’s wrong but he’s eliciting feelings in me that makes me hold my breath. It’s the combination of his scent and his expression that conjures up hot wetness between my legs and I instantly know that I've truly fucked up. My lips part and then his gaze drops. His brows furrow almost and he licks his own lips. He looks like he’s in pain. It’s the way his jaw clenches and then he abruptly tears his eyes away. He looks-no absolutely burns a hole in his own menu by the intensity in his eyes. When he places his arms on the table to look at his menu, I can make out the tendons and the muscles working. My eyes flutter and then I let out a soft but deep exhale. When I grab my drink I notice my hand is shaking. I shouldn’t have come. Should've faked being sick and stayed home. I suddenly want something strong. Vodka, tequila, or anything to soothe my nerves.

I eye mom’s glass of wine and I’m instantly jealous. I wish I was 21, I think.

When the waitress takes our orders I order the dish Kylo wanted me to get. I don’t know why but I just do. When she’s finished and she grabs our menus I announce that I need to go the bathroom. Kylo moves out of his seat and I stand up and maneuver out from the table to pass him by. I make my way to the bathroom extremely self-conscious about my dress.

Standing at the front of the mirror I felt like splashing water on my face and realized that I’m wearing makeup. It sucks and so I stick to breathing exercises before going to the toilet to relieve myself. I take my time washing my hands and then patting down my hair. I adjust the hem of the dress again and groan. When I leave I make my way back to the table. Everyone is chatting and ordering more drinks.

Kylo is conversing with my parents while Jessica and Vicrul are deep in what looks like banter.

Arriving at the table mom speaks to me, “You okay sweetheart?” I nod as Kylo shifts away from his seat and stands. I pass him and then sit in my seat before he takes the one in the end.

“I’m fine.” When our food arrives, I’m so starving that I eye it with enthusiasm. My stomach has been growling the whole time which is embarrassing. It is a shame that my dish is the last one which arrives but I’m so happy that I moan. Everyone is complimenting how good the flavors of theirs are and I agree because the scents of their dishes combine is incredible.

Dad gives my dish an eyebrow raise, “That looks, great hun. What did you get?”

“Kylo suggested I get this one here,” I point to the menu as I’m sure I’ll butcher the name of the dish. When we are finished we then move on to dessert.

Kylo occasionally would ask certain questions like, ‘How was your week or Are you excited for school next week?’ I feel bad when I answer with extremely short answers which don’t do much for a longer conversation. However, he nods all the same with a hint of a smile on his lips and I don’t miss the way he would subtly but turn his face to my position when I’m not looking to inhale in my scent. It’s barely noticeable but I’m so hyper-aware of his every move, that I can tell when he inhales in and holds his breath that I start to believe what Violet has been talking about this time.

If it’s true that he was getting those girls specifically for certain intimate moments at the hotel does that mean he wants to do that to me? I’m too distracted with my thoughts until I feel his thigh brush up against my bare one that I almost jolt in my seat. I don’t turn to him. It’s an accident after all, we are sitting right to each other.

More waitresses come by and then take our dessert orders. Once again Kylo points to one on my menu which he was told tasted good. I nod politely and order it due to his suggestion.

Jess picks one with ice cream and then Vicrul makes some cheesy comment that makes me snort into my drink.

She laughs and then pats him on the arm. She turns to me after taking a sip of champagne, “Woa, I think this stuff is getting to me.”

“That is your third glass.” Vicrul cuts in softly, “Maybe you should slow down on the drink Jess. There's more back at my place once this is over.”

Jess gives him a scandalous look, “You were planning all along for me to come home with you huh?”

He smirks, “Trust me, I've been planning a lot of things for a while now.”

There’s a moment where Jessica’s eyes widen and then she places a finger at his lips, “Shush. Stop being naughty.”

She’s definitely had a lot alright A few of dad’s crew from down the table started chuckling.

I hear a buzz on my phone and see Bella’s name light up.

**Bella <3: Are you coming?**

I glance at my parents and then check the time. It’s 9 pm already and I’m surprised the time has gone by so fast.

**Violet: When dinner is over I’ll ask mom dad. I think they might go drinking but I’ll update you.**

**Bella <3: Yes please want to hang with you.**

Desserts are beautiful as always and I can’t help the happy moans that I let out when I dig into it. I’m sort of a klutz when I accidentally move back with my spoon in my mouth and some of my desert falls on my bare thigh. Panicking a little I try to make sure none of it went on my dress and then happily only wipe the piece of fudge from my thigh. I suck on my finger and then get back to my dessert. I hear a strangled low noise from next to me and without a second thought turn to Kylo. “Are you okay?”

He peers down at me, “Yeah I’m fine something just got stuck in my throat.” He says and then gets back to his dish. He lifts his spoon and places it in his mouth between full lips. I don’t mean to stare but he catches me watching and it feels like the room is empty and it's just me and him. It’s overwhelming and my center aches again. I feel like a deer in headlights as his eyes bore into me again. There’s a glint in his eye and then his gaze darkens.

I can only describe it as pure unfiltered desire telling by the way his eyes drop to my chest and then glide down to my waist and- I turn away. My breathing is heavier and I drink more of my water. He can feel it, I know he knows that something is changed and I berate myself internally for falling. How could I? Maybe it will go away. The feelings and the fact that I’m starting to get aroused by him. It’s dangerous. Eventually, dinner is over and everyone starts to depart after discussing their plans.

We leave our table after thanking the chef for our beautiful dinner and one by one we head out the exit doors. It’s dark but warm, too warm that I don’t bother to put my jacket back on despite how much I want to wrap it around my legs instead. I really want to go to Bella for a distraction. I just need to get some alcohol in my system so that I can forget those eyes. Dark and hungry and devouring. Too intense for someone like me. God, I’ve only kissed a boy once and this is much more intense than the way I felt back then. It’s ridiculous.

“Mom are you guys going out tonight? To the pub?” I ask.

She nods as she fixes the strap of her heels, “Yeah sweetheart but we're going to drop you off first is that okay?” Dad cuts in with phone in hand.

He waves to some of the departing crew members heading towards the pub, “If you want us home then that’s fine too love. We don’t have to go out.”

I shake my head, “No it’s fine. I was actually thinking. Bella has a party at her house tonight. Can I go please?” I plead. 

Please say yes. They both look at each other and there is a silent conversation that is evident between them. Although I don’t go out much, this is my first in a while. Dad usually said no in the past anyway but Mom whispers something to him and he contemplates it for a while before turning to me.

“Okay, but-” he gives me a firm look, “You will be home by midnight by the latest. It’s 9.30 now but me and mom will drop you off.”

I smile happily, “Yes thanks heaps dad.”

“Remind me where Bella stays again?”

“Just in the Bay area not far from the school.”

Dad sighs and then checks his watch, “That’s 45 minutes from here sweetheart.”

“It should be fine,” Mom comments and gives me a smile. I know she’s being extra nice because she’s heading back tomorrow back to her new partner.

Suddenly Kylo’s voice interrupts, “Actually I could drop her off. I’m heading there myself, as I live there close by.”

Surprised I turn to him and he’s looking at dad with hands casually in his pockets. I crane my neck up and feel my stomach flutter again.

No way. Oh fuck. I quickly whip out my phone.

**Violet: Your ass better be at home because I’m getting dropped off at your place.**

“Are you sure Kylo? We honestly don’t mind” Dad says and Kylo shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine. I’m happy to drop her off.”

This time he gives me a brief but meaningful look and I lower my eyes. “Is that alright then love?” Mom and Dad ask and I can’t help but nod.

I mean why not. A part of me is nervous that I’ll be alone with him in his car, and another part of me thinks that I should just ask mom and dad to drop me off home. I’m also slightly excited which doesn’t make any sense at all.

Dad grins, “Well okay then. Remember sweetheart. No later than midnight and keep the drinking to the minimum if you are.”

“Yep dad,” I say goodbye to my parents and then follow Kylo to his car. Before we cross the road he places a palm against my lower back making me shudder. His whole hand spans across my back and the edges of his fingers press gently against my waist. My breath hitches.

He guides me across and then let's me go “My car is over there.” He points to the parking lot and then motions for me to follow him. I look for a sign of his Mercedes Benz until he calls my name in his direction.

I’m confused until he stops by a very fancy looking car. I mean when I say fancy, I mean it looks like it costs more than dad’s apartment. A few people who pass by, pause to admire it, and then take photos.

“Holy shit is that a Bugatti Chiron. That’s the latest model. No fucking way.” A guy comments from behind me and then a woman whispers, “Oh my god it’s Kylo Ren.”

There’s a commotion of voices and then Kylo looks at me, “Violet get in.” He asks firmly. His voice is laced with irritation as more people start to gather around taking photos.

“Who's that girl?” Someone questions.

A black range rover crawls past and then windows are rolled down before cameras are flashing. So many of them in fact that I’m briefly blinded before Kylo quickly opens my door and gently eases me into the car. I’m not sure how he does it. Deals with a load of cameras flashing in his face, it’s overwhelming to the point where I find myself breathing heavily. I slide into the seat and then he closes my door. I notice through the window more people approaching him but he politely says goodbye despite the clench in his jaw and then makes his way to the driver's side. He slides in behind the wheel.

“Fucking paparazzi,” he swears under his breath and then turns the car and reversing. Placing a hand on the gear stick he quickly shifts and continues to glare intensely through the window.

“Can’t even go somewhere private without just people noticing now.” I glance at him and then place my seatbelt on. We have to maneuver carefully through the throng of people in the way.

“Somebody must have tipped them off,” I add and he sighs. I check my phone.

**Bella <3: Yep hasn’t left home yet. See you soon.**

Once we're on the highway, the tension in his shoulders relax. His jaw slackens and he gives me a brief but inquisitive look. Parts of his face light up as cars go by with their lights on.

His gaze is darker, much more probing than usual. “Party huh.” He combs his fingers through thick dark locks and I nod. I place my coat on my legs and cover them. I catch him glancing and I swear I catch the ends of his lips falling. Something hot coils in my pelvic area. I lean back onto the seat.

“Yeah, it’s for a friend’s cousin's birthday.”

“Hmn. Do you like to party a lot?” The question seems innocent but it’s the way he asks it. Too intrusive.

Thinking of a reply I part my lips, “I don’t really. I've only been once or twice but I always came back early.”

“I think you should do the same tonight.”

I refrain from giving him the stink eye. Really? Acting like my dad now and I barely know you?

He quickly adds in, “Bella’s place is further out from your father's apartment. Your parents are out drinking too.”

Annoyed, I huff. “Both of them won’t drink. Dad or mom could drive to pick me up. Honestly, it’s fine.”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. I could drop you off home.”

I shake my head, really? Why is he so invested?

“No thanks. It’s farther out and I won’t ask you to do that.”

“You could sleepover at my house. I can ring your parents. My place is quite big. Your dad’s been there a few times to meet up with me for work. There’s an upstairs and downstairs.” The option seems reasonable but I doubt dad would let me sleepover. He doesn’t trust me sleeping over at my friends so how was Kylo going to convince my dad that. But the possibility of it, makes me bite my lip.

He glances at me, “You could have downstairs, there are spare bedrooms. Mines upstairs.”

“You bought a house big enough for a lot of people and your the only one who lives in it?” I ask and he chuckles. The sound sends pleasant shivers down my spine. Focus Violet. Focus.

“No, big enough for visitors. My parents come to visit now and then. Sometimes friends like Vicrul. Other times for…” he trails off, “ sometimes just for special guests.” His voice drops and the way his voice lingers at ‘special guests’ hints at activities that makes my face red and my center to pulse.

Fuck me. I don’t think I was going to last in this car ride much longer.

I cross my fingers and pray silently. ‘Please dear God, please let this night be over.’


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to 'Here she comes again' by Royksopp. That's the theme song of this Chapter. Thank you to everyone whose been really supportive of this story. I'm glad and thankful for the comments and likes. I may have to edit and revise the whole thing later on. But thank you, everyone. One more chapter to go.

Bay area where Bella’s house is feels so far away with Kylo driving behind the wheel despite how fast he’s going. He’s been asking a lot of questions and although my stomach flutters when he turns to me and gives me a smoldering look, another part of me is concerned.

I should probably tell Dad, I think. He won’t like it but then what will happen to Kylo? Will I wreck his reputation? It won’t be good if he has to audition for new prospective movies and rumors are flying about with his obsession with minors. He hasn’t done anything though, I mull. 

He hasn’t touched me or said anything too suspicious so I don’t have evidence. I mean some dark part of me wants his attention now even though he’s way older. God, it makes me confused and just frustrated. So much for telling Bella not to get with older men, I berate myself. 

I’m going to have to tell Dad that he has to get Kylo to stop giving me rides, but then what will I say? I'll feel bad if I make it super ridiculously bad that I’m trying to make accusations against him even though Kylo has done nothing - yet. 

I lean back against the seat trying not to let my inner turmoil show on my face. 

“You okay?” Kylo questions as he briefly looks at me. He smells so good that I’m having trouble clearing my thoughts. I wonder what he wears? My nose can’t escape the scent and I do nothing but try to take shallow breaths. Now and then I turn a bit to his side so that I can soak in it, but then find myself growling internally at how stupid I feel. 

God stop it, Violet. 

I bite my lower lip, “No I’m fine.” I give a small wan smile and then let out a yawn. I’m about to raise my hand to rub my eyes when I remember that I’m wearing thick layers of mascara. The last thing I needed was to look like a raccoon. 

“Tired?” He asks with a tilt of his head.

I shrug, “No, not really.” 

He carefully assesses my face, eyes roaming over my features before turning back to the road. I bite the inner flesh of my cheek and focus ahead. “I’ll give your parent’s a ring if you want before I drop you off so a ride home can be arranged.” He tells me. 

Hm, does that mean he won’t pick me up anymore from Bellas? 

Oh shit, didn’t Bella say they were going out to town? Fuck! I can't go clubbing with Bella if they're expecting to pick me up from her place. Shit. I fidget with the corner sleeve of my jacket. 

I quickly whip out my phone. 

**Violet: Are we still going out tonight to go clubbing?**

**Bella <3: .....Yes..we chose to wait behind for you before we go out...i got ur fake id here with me...cousin carlos got it made....**

**Violet: oH thanks but SHIT, my parents might pick me up from your house. I have to be home by midnight.**

**Bella <3: Huh? no, my cousin is sober driving. tell them not to because well drop you off.....**

**Violet: Fuck, Ill see.**

**Bella <3: Yep how far away are you?**

**Violet: I'm ten minutes away.**

Licking my lips I turn to Kylo, “I think I’ll get my friend to drop me off.”

There’s a beat of silence before he replies with eyes focused on the road, “I’ll give your parents a call anyway. See what they say, how does that sound?” 

I nod my head and sigh internally. "Yeah.”

Fuck I hope they say yes to me being dropped off home.. I’ll be in deep shit if they find out I’m not at Bella’s. 

“So what’s her address?” He asks when I notice we're close to her place. I direct him to a few streets and then finally to hers once we get off the highway. 

I lean forward “Here, just a few houses down. It’s the white one with the white roses bushes at the front.” He rolls down my window and I point my hand through. He slows down and then I feel him edge closer to my seat to look out, prompting me to shift uncomfortably in my seat. 

I can feel the warmth rolling off him in waves, like a fireplace. “Hmm, that one? Oh, yeah I see now.” His voice is closer to me than I expected. It’s slow but it’s a pleasant low rumble that causes goosebumps to rise on my skin and twists my gut in a feverish way. I gasp softly when I turn my face to see him looking out my window but it’s not just that. It’s the fact he’s taking up all my space in the car that I can’t help but feel like he’s going to push me back against the seat and - and - do something. 

The sight of his throat and his shirt that is unbuttoned at the chest makes me rub my thighs together. His shoulders are broader up close as his dress shirt strains against his muscles and biceps. Even his trousers are snug against his strong thighs, and one of them is bigger than both my thighs combined. 

My core heats up again and images flash in my head. They are erotic, filthy, and all too wicked that I try not to groan. No one has ever made me feel this way, not even my first kiss. The movie that he was in doesn’t help, but only adds to the fuel of sickening sexual fantasies that threaten to overwhelm me. 

It doesn’t help that his face is inches away from mine, causing heat to bloom in my skin. His eyes drop down to mine and I part my lips. I hadn’t noticed that the car had stopped in front of Bella’s house as Kylo takes my expression in. They linger on my lips, too hot and nefarious, making me take deep and shaky breaths. 

I don’t know if I’m seeing things but did he lower his face closer? It’s kind of too dark to see properly as the outside light from Bella's porch adds a very soft glow to everything. There’s a moment where he lifts his hand as his long and thick fingers twitch in my direction. 

I blink rapidly and eye them curiously; afraid and excited that he may reach out to touch me, but he doesn’t. They sort of hang in the air as if he's still debating whether to continue with the course of action he's planned in his head. His Adam's apple bobs with movement as he watches me. I swallow and then lower my eyes before raising them again to see his brows furrowing. 

He licks his lips, and I can’t help but track the movement. God, his scent is becoming too overwhelming. He lets out a soft blow of air but he’s so quiet that I can hear that he lets out a barely audible curse underneath his breath that sounded like ‘fuck.’

I shiver before leaning back from him into the car door in my seat. 

I think I need new underwear, I think suddenly to myself. Shame blooms in my mind when I feel the hot flash of lust coursing through my body and my fluids coating my inner thighs. I’m glad that I’m wearing that lotion on my body again to hide the scent of my arousal. 

His nostrils flare and then he inhales so deeply and loudly that it had to be done on purpose. If it weren’t so dark he would have been able to take in the color of my shame that blooms underneath my skin like guilt. I wanted to sink into my seat and cry. 

He opens his mouth and closes it again as he drops his hand back onto the wheel. I can see the muscles in his jaw moving, and I wonder to myself if he’s suspecting how much I’m becoming affected by him. So this is what it felt like, to be under his dark and weighted gaze. It causes a mix of feelings inside that I never thought would have been possible. 

Mustering up the courage I break the silence. “I should get going, you don't have to ring my parents. I will.” I say. 

“Don’t worry about it Violet. I’ll call your parents instead. What’s your number?” The pitch of his tone sends vibrations down to places I haven’t explored in a while.

Huh? Why is he asking for my number? I fidget under his gaze and notice he hasn’t moved from his position. He was still in my personal space, and even sitting down in his own seat he still managed to be imposing. 

Telling by the reluctance on my face he immediately adds, “Not like that. I need to know in case your parents want me to pick you up.” Hope not. I’d rather get dropped off before I leave a wet mess on his leather seat. I shift my thighs underneath my coat, attracting his attention before he raises them again. 

It’s not subtle at all, the way he stares, as if he wants to reach out and rip the coat away. To expose myself to him and so he could do what-

Okay enough Violet. 

I nod my head and then supply him with my mobile digits. He quickly takes out his phone and types it down. A few seconds pass by and then my phone buzzes and I look down to see his text. 

**Unknown: It's Kylo.**

**Violet: Thanks.**

When he’s finished I say goodbye to him and then open the car door. I’m in the process of getting out of the car when he calls my name. “Violet.”

I look back with ears perked as I hold the door handle. “Yeah?”

“No later than midnight.” He says firmly, and I purse my lips. Really?

Before I can stop myself the words come out faster than I expected, “You're not my dad.”

I can tell that there’s a look of dissatisfaction that passes over his face and he grunts, “I know, but your dad trusted me to drop you off here safely, and maybe pick you up in the same manner that I left you. ”

You mean aroused, hot and horny? 

I nod before shutting the car door. I expect him to immediately drive off while I slide on my jacket when he calls my name again. “Violet.”

I turn around to see him looking over the window again as he gives me a look that I can’t decipher. He briefly glances at my legs and then clears his throat before facing the front again. His knuckles are white against the driver's wheel. 

“Your... _dress_.” It’s two simple words but they have an effect on me causing my eyes to immediately dropdown. I try to ignore the fact that his voice sent shivers down my spine when it came out husky and rough. 

Embarrassment courses through my body when I realize that the hem of my dress has ridden up much further than I had expected. They were at the tops of my thighs showing the hint of blue lace underwear that I was wearing. Fuck!

I’m sure that I’m red all over when I quickly pull it down as I curse myself internally. I wanted to sink into a hole and die. If it weren’t dark I would have looked as red as a tomato underneath the sunlight but thank god it was nighttime. Not paying him any attention, I all but turn around and run towards the front of Bella’s house past her car and two other ones in the driveway. Thank god I'm wearing sneakers otherwise I would have face planted on the driveway with heels on. 

I’m sweating bullets when I close my eyes and bite my lip hard while standing at the front door. I hear the sound of his car driving away. I don’t want to imagine the look on his face and I’m pretty sure that I’ll never look at him again. EVER. 

Mom, this is all your fault. 

This dress is going bye-bye when I get home, I think angrily. 

I pull at it again and then wait before I hear a few voices and then Bella opens the door. She’s wearing a tight red dress that compliments her curves and her hair is tied back in a slick ponytail, while big hoop earrings dangle from her ears. 

She’s also wearing dark red lipstick as she steps closer towards me with her open-toed high heels.

“Oh my god bitch you're finally here!!!!!” She screams and then wraps her hands around me. I wince when she plants a big kiss on my chin. I rub at it annoyed that there’s probably a big kiss mark on my cheek. 

The scent of alcohol and weed hits me and I notice she’s not only drunk but also high telling my redness in her eyes. Behind her, I see a couple of people I’m not familiar. 

The sound of faint music is heard before she tugs at my arm into the house. “We had to turn the music down a bit because of the neighbors. Damn old hag lives next door and complains a lot.”

“Oh that sucks. Are we leaving soon?” I ask as I adjust my jacket and look around her place. 

She grins and then places her arm around me, “Yep. Marcus is picking us up. He should be here in about five minutes.”

“Whose that?” Marcus? “I thought Carlos was picking us up?” 

“Nah he had to babysit tonight. Parents had to leave all of a sudden to some emergency. Marcus is my new boyfriend. He’s hot. Wait till you see him. Big dick too.” Okay…. I may have underestimated how much she drank. 

I don’t even bother to question when she got a new boyfriend. I can’t seem to keep count of the boyfriends she’s introduced to me and Ryan over the past few weeks. 

When I join her in the living room she introduces me to her cousin Gemma. A pretty tall blonde girl with green eyes. She had just turned 17. Apparently, they celebrated her birthday at her house but decided to come to Bellas for drink ups before making their way into town. 

I was just in time too. There are another two, maybe five people in total all drinking and dancing and chatting. Apparently, they had been a much larger group but some decided to head into town early.

I feel something being nudged into my hand when Bella approaches. 

“What’s this?” I ask and then I look down and see it’s my fake id. 

Bella smirks, “Oh baby that’s your lucky card. We're going to this new night club in town,” she hiccups, “but first I need another shot of tequila.” She immediately walks away towards the kitchen where there are a bunch of drinks on the kitchen island. All either pure spirits half-finished premixed Smirnoff's and other lolly drinks. 

I stand there awkwardly for a bit while everyone introduces themselves. One of the guys is Gemma’s boyfriend and then a few others who were Bella’s cousins. They seem lovely but I didn’t know any of them. Apparently they were all from out of town and they came by for Gemmas birthday. 

They are all passing around a joint of weed and I kindly decline when it comes to me. I don’t really like the stuff and the smell is awful. I don’t say that of course but I do sip a drink of premixed drink that someone has given me. 

I’m so busy drinking that I realize that the weed smell is very potent and thick in the air. Fuck. My stomach sinks when I think about how the smell will stain my dress and mom and dad will no doubt think I'd been smoking it. 

For a moment I swallow roughly and then excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I pass by a closed room and then hear the sounds of moaning through the door. Immediately I walk away not interested in hearing some people having sex and head straight into the bathroom. 

I check myself out in the mirror, making sure that my dress is not above too high and that my mascara is intact. Surprisingly my hair is controlled, and so I pat it down and then relieve myself. I hear the sound of knocking on the bathroom door and so I flush the toilet before coming out. 

I quickly wash my hands before opening the door. 

It’s one of Bella’s cousins. A tall male named Seth who reminded me of one of those preppy boys who play golf or lacrosse for fun and wears Ralph Lauren whenever they go out. 

He’s got perfectly styled brown hair and blue eyes and broad cheekbones. When he catches sight of me, he smiles and then studies me from head to toe. It makes me uncomfortable but I don’t show it. “Violet was it? sorry just needed to use the bathroom. Hope I didn’t rush you.”

I shake my head, “No it’s fine I was just finishing.” I smile and wipe my hands. He stares at me for a bit and then leans against the bathroom door. 

“So you go to school with Bella huh?” he asks. I don’t like the way he continues to stare at my legs and then at my face with a predatory look. It’s much different compared to when Kylo does it but with him, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. 

Although I kind of don’t blame him because the stupid dress is too short. I hunch forward a bit and wrap the jacket around me again hoping it will distract him, but it doesn’t.

“Yeah, I do,” I reply as I wipe my hands. 

He nods and then looks down before meeting my gaze again. “You have a boyfriend?”

The question catches me off guard. Jesus talk about straight forward. What should I say? Yes?

If I do he’ll leave me alone right? I wasn’t in the mood to get hit on or flirt or whatever. 

Fuck, I try to damp down my anxiety. “Yes,” I lie. 

His face doesn’t drop but he shrugs, “Was worth asking.” He smirks and then he walks by me. 

“Sorry,” I don’t know why I apologize but I hastily leave the bathroom as he starts to unzip his pants. I quickly shut the door behind me and start making my way to the kitchen. 

I fan myself, and whisper, “awkward…”

When I arrive Bella is smoking another joint before she waves me over to sit on her lap. She’s on the lounge chair with her heels on the side as a few others are chatting amongst themselves.

I make a face and sit next to her on the chair instead. “Holy shit babes look at you. If I weren't into cock I’d take you to my bed, “ she whispers seductively. 

I roll my eyes, “ Thanks. Anyways,” I gesture to her dress, “You look great, did you change?”

She huffs, “Yeah, one of the girls, Gemma's friend, spewed on my dress. So I had to get changed.”

“Yikes. Sorry about that..”

“It’s okay. Fuck sake,” She checks her phone, “where is he!”

I lean towards her phone, “Who Marcus?”

“Yeah, he should be here soon. I rang him a few times and he hasn’t picked up yet.”

Suddenly a loud horn was heard outside and we both jump up. Inside I’m worried about the smell of the weed and wonder if they will be able to drop me off after the clubs. I check my phone and to my relief I see Kylo’s message. 

**Kylo: I rang your parents. Said you could sleepover at mine to save time. They had a lot to drink so they couldn’t pick you up.**

I sigh. Thank God. I’ll have downstairs thank you. 

**Violet: Thank you. See you at midnight.**

Better Kylo than my parents thinking I've been drinking and getting high at the same time. I could convince him to pick me up from the club. But I’m not going to say anything right now. I put my phone away in a jacket pocket and then start heading out with the others outside. 

Bella is holding on to my arm as starts to chat away about how the birthday went. There’s a black seven-seater SUV in front of the driveway and I immediately peer closer to the driver's seat. “Oh my god, I can’t believe he came in his dad’s car,” Bella mutters. “I hope no-one spews up in it.”

I wince, “Yeah true that. So how olds your new man?”

She gives me an offended look, “He’s not old by the way. He's only 18.”

“Thank God for that,” I mutter. 

Once we get inside the car I’m not prepared by the number of questions that come barreling through from Bella’s mouth. The music in the car is loud so I don’t worry about the others listening in as we sit at the furthest back seats while talking away. It is uncomfortable for my ears when the speakers are right next to us and the bass vibrates to my bones. 

I end up having to talk directly into her ear as she hungrily waits for more details. She squeals when I tell her about Kylo. I wince as she literally nearly jumps in her seat with excitement. “Oh my fucking god! I can’t fucking believe this! I have to tell Ryan” She shouts over the music. “Baby I told you he wants you! What did I say?”

“Bella it’s wrong, and I think- I think I’m going to tell dad to tell him not to pick me up anymore.”

She shakes her head vigorously, “I would die to be in your place right now but hey, take this chance just to hang with him. But honestly, it’s up to you.” She starts to sing along to the song playing as she waits for my response. "Even if this is the last coming week of school picks up, that your going to see him then that's okay, but at the end of the day it's entirely up to you."

I consider my answer before replying “I know, it’s the age thing and I think it's better for me.”

“Yeah I mean, we're both different, and as much as I’m excited that he’s really into you if you're not comfortable just tell your dad the truth.” Her answer surprises me knowing full well that she would have wanted me to hook up with him, but then she wraps her around me and squeezes. 

“Honestly you and Ryan are my BFFs. I kind of feel bad for forcing you-anyway, babes let's forget Kylo tonight, and let’s get wasted!” She starts to sing again before reaching out to punch Seth in the shoulder while he was sitting in the front seat. 

He was about to light a joint but he yelps from Bella’s hit and then he reluctantly puts the joint away. “Bitch,” he mutters. Her other cousin chuckles and Marcus bobs his head to the music. 

“Shut up. This is my boyfriend’s dad’s car. He’s doing us a huge favor being a sober driver.” Bella scolds. 

The line outside the club is ridiculously long and I can’t help but groan in irritation. Bella also has a scowl on her face before we all decide to head to another nightclub. When we do, I panic for a bit when I realize I don’t have the fake ID that Bella gave me. Luckily I find it in my jacket pocket.

The new club we arrive at has a long line but it is much shorter than all the others. The security guy doesn’t even bat an eye at the fake ID’s. We go to the bar and order some drinks, but then Gemma and her boyfriend decide to order a bunch of shots and we end up taking two each. 

We dance for a bit on the dance floor before we drink more shots while the DJ plays Meghan thee stallion out loud. It’s been a while since I've danced and Bella’s busting out her moves that I can’t help but join in with glee. 

The alcohol buzzes warmly through my veins and my anxiety slips away like water. Sweat is building at the base of my spine as I sway to the music. Bella tells me she’s going to the bathroom as she navigates through the crowd of bodies in the way. 

I dance some more as Gemma places her arms out to hold me when I feel like I’m about to fall. Seth laughs while the others move to the beat of the music. The lights blur for a bit and I feel my gut twist uncomfortably. I don't know whether I'm about to throw up or it's because it feels really late. 

“Shit.” I place out my phone and check the time. Oh, fuck it's 12.20. There are several missed calls from Kylo and I feel my stomach drop. Fuck!

**Kylo: where the hell r u?**

**Kylo: I'm waiting for u**

**Kylo: pick up the phone**

**Kylo: Violet ur parents aren't going to be happy**

Oh my god. “Sorry, guys I have to go outside!” I tell Gemma and she nods.

“Yep, I’ll let Violet know. Are you going to be okay?” She asks. 

I nod despite how much I feel like I’m going to faint. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m calling an uber.”

I quickly make my way outside and as I curse, “shit, shit, shit fucking fuck.”

Scrolling through my phone I click on Kylo’s name and dial. The music is loud behind me as I go through the exit door before Kylo answers. 

He is pissed. No furious. 

I bite my lip nervously.

“Violet where the hell are you?” He growls through the phone and I immediately wince. Angry Kylo is scary but what's scarier is the fact that he might tell my parents. “I've been standing outside of your friend’s place for more than twenty minutes and no one is answering the door.” He pauses, "What the hell is all that music in that background?"

I stutter through the speaker, “I- I’m at the clubs.” I stand out of the club away from the line of people as I struggle not to trip over my own feet. I drank way too bloody much. I lean back against the wall. 

“What!” He practically yells through the speaker. “Please tell me you guys didn’t drive there drunk Violet.”

“No, my friend's boyfriend was sober driving.”

“Fuck, Shit stay there. Where exactly are you? What’s the name of the club?” He demands. 

I crane my head to look at the sign, “PHD?”

“Ugh shit, I’ll google map. Wait there and don’t move. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” He hangs up just in time before Bella spots me and calls my name. She’s taken her heels off as she paces towards me.

“Are you okay? What happened?” She asks. 

“I’m supposed to be home by 12.00 but it's late. Kylo’s pissed that I wasn’t at your house so he’s picking me up.” 

Her eyes widen, “Holy shit,” She whispers, “He’s actually picking you up?”

I nod, “Yeah I’m dead. He’s going to tell my parents.” I try not to show my distress as I run my hands through my hair roughly. 

Bella grimaces “Girl he won’t. I can’t believe ‘thee’ Kylo Ren is picking you up. I can get Marcus to drop you off if you don’t want him to take you home?” She grabs my arm and gently squeezes. 

I give her a sheepish smile, “It’s fine he’s already on his way. I’m just really tired. I could sleep right now.” I bend down to fix my shoelaces. 

“Yeah me too. We might head out soon.”

Violet stays with me for a bit outside the club before Marcus joins us. He stands in front of us and waves away a few creepy men who leer at me and Bella. I lean against the wall and close my eyes in exhaustion. I try not to think about the fact that my parents could find out about this tomorrow. 

Them finding out that I was out clubbing with a fake ID could end up with me being grounded. That usually means no phone use for two weeks and an old Nokia phone to use instead, plus all my plans for the holidays to go with Bella and Ryan’s family camping could get canceled. 

Fuck. 

I’m sure dad would think of other things to punish me for. 

Eventually, time passes by and then I hear a commotion of voices. People are gathering on the sidewalks and eyeing the road with interest. Most have left the line to join the others who are pointing at an approaching vehicle. 

Bella comments, “What the hell is that about?”

Marcus walks to the front and then looks down the road over the heads of people. “Well fuck me. That’s one beautiful ride.”

Me and Bella follow and then I spot him.

Kylo’s car. It's flashy, expensive, and over the top. 

It attracts a lot of attention as it’s sleek body crawls slowly at a careful pace to avoid hitting anyone that might get in the way. Photos are being taken and cameras are flashing rapidly in the night. 

“That’s one rich fucker.” Marcus remarks and then whistles, “Look at those rims, shit that baby’s fucking sexy.”

I tug at Bella’s arm and whisper, “It’s Kylo.”

“Huh okay. I’m not surprised. Anyway, you better get in as soon as you can before you both get swarmed.” She says quickly and then ushers me forward. She pushes a few annoyed people passed. 

When his car stops a few people get in the way and Bella shouts, “Get the hell out of way, that’s my friend's boyfriend.”

I whip my head towards her but she’s elbowing people away to the side."Move it, buddy."

The window rolls down and then Kylo’s voice calls out. “Violet get in, please. Guys move to the side.” The crowd of people finally part and I'm getting weird stares as I duck my head down when a phone camera flashes in my face. 

When I manage to reach the door handle Kylo reaches out and grabs my arm. The motion is so sudden that I quickly reach out to brace myself. He pulls me in and then the door shuts behind me. Violet waves me goodbye and then Kylo shifts the gear before we leave. 

He doesn’t talk to me. At all. His attention is solely fixed on the road ahead. There's a tic in his jaw and I can tell he wants to say something to me but he doesn't. 

If I had known the night was going to end up like this I never would have come. 

The ride is quiet. Too silent and I know he is really pissed. 

I however eventually manage to fall asleep as exhaustion pulls my lids close. A few times I wake up but Kylo is still driving. I mumble out a ‘sorry’ before I sleep again. 

I don’t know how long I sleep for but I feel a firm hand against my shoulder lightly shake me. “Wake up. Violet.”

Slapping the hand away I go back to snuggling into the seat. Just then I feel myself being lifted as a hot hand sneaks underneath my back to curl around me and then another underneath the back of my knees. 

The last thing I remember is the dim lights of the ceiling that shine in my face as I bury my face against a warm solid chest. “Nice,” I mumble and then I hear a low chuckle that vibrates against my cheek. 

“Good night Violet,” is the last thing I hear before I pass out in the soft warm bed I've been placed in. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I have decided that I will be adding more chapters to this story.

* * *

Dreaming is a weird thing. There are voices in the background that could easily slip into indistinct background noise. At some point, I try to open my eyes but I’m so exhausted that my mind goes back to sleep.

Eventually, the voices filter through, and my brain quickly catches on. There are male voices. Two to be exact. One is familiar and the other is not. I’m not sure If I’m still dreaming but as the voices become clearer I realize that is no longer the case. I keep my eyes close and listen.

“Jesus Christ, Ben. You brought the girl here?” A man says in an incredulous tone.

There’s a pause and then the other replies, “You know I don’t like to be called that.”

“Oh fuck it, Ben or Kylo whatever. Look-”

So Kylo had another name?

“Don’t worry, her parents know she’s here.”

Oh god. Why are they talking about me like that? What’s the time aniway? As much as I’m tempted to open my eyes and look at my phone, I don’t. There’s worry crawling underneath my skin as I continue to eavesdrop.

“So they sold her to you? That’s sick.” There’s disgust in his voice.

Sold? What the fuck. What era am In? I hope he said it as a joke.

“No, bloody hell no. They did not Hux. They trust me with her, her parents couldn’t pick her up anyway..” Kylo says firmly. “I’m not sure about whether she trusts me.”

Hux curses, “Fuck sake Kylo - earn her trust? What?. She’s fucking sixteen. What makes it worse is that her parents know she’s here, and if you do something to her - think of the repercussions."

“-What makes you think I haven't thought about it Hux? I've considered all the consequences, but that’s if-”

Hux cuts in “ Shit-if what Kylo? If what? You can’t just let your dick-”

“Let me finish.” Kylo snaps. “Christ-”

“I can’t believe this. Your not fucking Epstein you know. He got away with this shit for years and what’s worse is that almost everyone in the industry knew about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if this girl's father knew about it. They did nothing- you know why?. Cause Epstein had shit on everyone. He’s on a whole different fucking level. You on the other hand-”

Huh? Hux’s words come out bitter. My heart races. Does he know my father? And is that true? No - no - dad would've done something if he knew about him. Plus dad didn’t know him. He didn’t. I feel a bloom of anger in my chest. Who the hell was he anyway? This Hux man doesn’t know my father. Flinging around his words as if they were true makes me want to jump up from the bed and punch him in the face.

There’s rage in Kylo’s voice when he responds, but it’s so well contained that I easily pick up on the energy that emits from him. “Epstein? Who the fuck do you think I am? I have never fucked a minor and you have the gall to compare me to him?” He’s breathing heavily, as if he has his hands balled into fists. “Fuck you Hux. Watch your tongue-”

“-then why did you bring this girl here Kylo? Why? You damn well know you could have dropped her off home or called a taxi. You’ve spoken to me in the past about her. Your fears at how this could lead out, and think of your career! What it could do to you - what you've worked so hard for. I don’t understand-”

Kylo bites back, “Understand what Hux? You're speaking to me as I've already shoved my cock into her. I haven’t.”

Hux pleads, “Then let her go. Cut off all contact with her father and do another project in another state. There’s plenty of other directors who want you and you don’t want to mess that up. Don’t fucking ruin this for yourself. Your publicist is always complaining that you reject a lot of good offers. ”

“I don’t care to move and my publicist can shut the fuck up. John and I are good friends. Even If I move to another state I won’t be able to stop thinking about her.”

What the hell? My heart pounds in my chest as I start to make sense of his words. He had to be talking about someone else surely. My eyelids twitch and I’m so fucking tempted to open them - to see them. They had to be standing at the doorway if I could hear them so close by.

Hux’s voice is thick with emotion, “Oh shit. I can’t - fuck, this is worse than I thought. It’s the fucking car accident isn’t it? You hit your fucking head and now your pining after a fucking minor. Listen to me, please Kylo. I've been your friend for a long time - I've always expressed my concerns with you no matter what -”

“I think you should go.” Kylo growls back; warning him. “Get the hell out of my house before I do something I regret.”

I hear a resigned huff, “Must I bloody plead with you Kylo? I only have your best interest in mind - you're making it difficult when it doesn’t need to be. I don’t want you to screw it up over some girl young enough to be your little sister. You need to let go - let her go…..”

I strain my ears but Hux’s voice has lowered into a low rumble that I can’t distinguish. Their voices start to fade as they depart and I wait a few more seconds before I can open my eyes.

The sound of a door closes and then a few seconds later a car engine outside begins to rumble. I hear it leave. My heart beats back to normal as I think about their words. I replay it over and over again wishing it were a bad dream.

Hux’s words although pissed me off in regards to my dad, I realise that they were sane and rational. I’m also to blame for the problem and Kylo could get in trouble because of me. I should have never come to Bella’s last night. A part of me had wanted it - the closeness, to be near him with us just two. I couldn’t deny it.

It’s just a crush. I don’t want it to be more than that, but then another part of me wants those wicked eyes and hands on me, to touch me, but it’s normal right? I have to blame those dreams too, they did nothing but bring up feelings that I wasn't prepared for.

My thoughts are a jumbled mess causing me to groan into the pillow. I open my eyes and look around.The room I’m in is large. It’s a master bedroom telling by its grand size. There’s two wall lights at the end of the room that are on, which cast a faint glow around the areas so I can see where everything is. The bed I’m on is the most comfortable bed I've ever laid.

It also smells of him; spicy musky leather and bergamot. It feels as if his scent had stained itself everywhere and right into the pores of his place , but I mean it’s his house. Of course it’s going to smell like him. I run my hands over the pillows and notice that the sheets are black, the pillows are black satin and the blankets are also black.

Then I look up at the ceiling and the wall behind me and they are also black. I mean I know he likes to dress in black but really? Thankfully the wooden floors were a glossy mahogany color and one of the feature walls was made of stone to break the dark obsidian colors.

I look around and notice that the door which is also a beautifully mahogany color is slightly ajar. They must have stood there and spoke about me just behind. I strain my ears for more voices but I hear none anymore. Quickly getting up from underneath the blankets I look for my phone. I don’t find it all.

Fuck. Did he take it?

The pit of my stomach begins to knot. My limbs feel tired too but I ignore it as I cross the room and open the door. Cool air brushes my face causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. I tug my dress down as I eye the open living room space. It’s very modern for sure.

Again there are dimmed wall lights that allow me to see everything

I’m not surprised to see all his furniture is black as well as the staircase next to the kitchen area. Everything was all open space and there were no walls separating anything. The interior of his place matches him. Matches Kylo.

I wonder if he got it custom made or he chose it from a line of place adverts.

There’s another room next to mine as I can see the door is opened showing an empty bed with the same design as the one I was sleeping on. He must have been sleeping upstairs then? I did remember saying he had upstairs all to himself.

Thirst prompts me to head to the kitchen which looks like something out of a modern gothic ‘Dracula’s only design’. It’s almost ridiculous really. The granite bench is matte black, the wood-paneled walls are black and the knives set are black as well.

I look through the cupboards for a cup and eventually find a glass one which thankfully is not black either. Once I've had my cup of water I rinse it under the tap and then place it aside.

I look towards the grey limestone staircase. I find myself walking towards it, and then carefully tiptoe all the way up while my hand glides across the hand rail. There’s another large living room space that I see and an entertainment area. There’s a bar, a pool table, and two tables with chairs surrounding it.

The entertainment area leads out into a large balcony that overlooks a massive pool. Through the closed glass doors I can see that it is still dark outside, and I can wager a guess that is maybe 5 or 6 in the morning.

I turn around and then spot a few closed room doors on the other side. I wonder if he’s still awake? And does he have my phone? As much as I wanted to avoid him after hearing the conversation he had with Hux, I didn’t have a choice but to seek him out.

I mean he has to be still awake. And why did his friend come so early in the morning? A part of me wishes that I never went to Bella’s house. I make sure my footsteps are light as a feather as I head towards the closed room doors. There are about three of them all evenly spaced out but the other one that is furthest away I realise is not exactly shut. It’s open.

There’s a small space that I can see which the light from inside escapes through the gap and I peer closer. Is that his room?

As I step closer I hear strange noises ranging from moaning, low breathy sighs and indistinct whispering. I know I shouldn’t be getting closer, but I do. I bite my lip. It has to be Kylo. Eventually, when I stand in front of his door, I see him.

It’s a sight that burns through my eyes and into my memory like a stamp. My heart pounds and my breaths come out uneven as I grip the handle of the door. For a moment I considered turning around and walking away - no run down the staircase and back into my room and pretend I never came out, never saw anything.

But I don't. Instead I stand there watching him and feeling guilty that I had intruded on his most private moment. Bella would have a field day for sure if she knew.

Kylo is on his bed, lying down with his black shirt up showing the firmness of his stomach. His dark sweatpants have been pulled down to his muscled thighs and his face is nothing but soaked in pure unadulterated lust and pleasure.

His sheets and duvet pool at the bottom of his feet, where it seemed like he had kicked them off in a haste. Kylo’s eyes are closed tightly as his brows are pulled into a frown. His lips are red and swollen as if he had bitten them over and over again. They shine with a wet sheen of saliva causing a hot coil of lust in between my hips.

Kylo’s cock is big. It’s strange because I have never seen another man's penis beside the one’s on porn and his movie of course - which was barely shown. However even from the angle I’m at, it is really thick and long and massive. I don’t know how it could fit in anyone really.

His hands glide over it from the base all the way over the head. It’s red pulsing and wet, and it makes my core ache. This is nothing like his movie. It’s in real life and it shocks me to the point where I begin to tremble.

I don’t know whether it is fear or lust but I’m torn between running away and watching. He continues to pump, his big fingers curling around his shaft and moving in a way that I can only imagine is nothing but pleasure for him. His thigh muscles clench and his abdomen twitches.

His breathing is heavier now, and then he parts his lips and whispers something over and over again. Until I hear it and I groan. Fuck. He gets louder. He’s grunting and growling and then when he says a name my heart almost stops.

“Fuck Violet. Fuck.”

I pull myself away from the door, and find myself wet. I’m leaking arousal down in between my legs and before I can hear him climax, I start to walk quickly down the stairs. I arrive at the bottom floor and head back to my room.

I need a shower badly. My face is burning red, and my palms begin to sweat as I all but throw myself into the room Kylo placed me in. The sound of my name coming from his mouth is ringing in my ear. I try to ignore and distract myself by thinking of other things as I look for the bathroom. I close my eyes tightly when his image comes in again full force before I take deep breaths.

Thankfully there’s a door that leads into my own bathroom in the master bedroom. It’s much different in terms of color. Where everything else in the house was mostly black, the bathroom is all white.

I quickly strip myself and my soiled underwear. I hang my dress at the rail as well as my jacket and then I chuck my underwear into the shower. I turn the tap on as I hug myself to keep warm when the cold shower water droplets hit my skin.

“Argh fuck that’s cold,” I hiss and then adjust the temperature.

Finally, when it’s a warm temperature I hop underneath. I moan as warmth travels all over my skin. There’s an array of shower bottles ranging from Dove coconut and milk, to pineapple and jasmine as well as women's conditioner and shampoo.

I scrub myself with the loafer and shower cream and then wash my underwear underneath the water. I consider what I’m going to have to wear which is basically my dress and jacket again. Fuck. It was better than walking around with a towel. Although I could ask Kylo if he had any spare clothes I could wear, or any clothes from his previous hookups or whatever.

I don’t know how long I've been in the shower but I take my time. I try to assemble my thoughts in order - replay the conversation that I heard and figure out what the hell I was going to do with the Kylo situation. I had to come up with a plan.

As I’m washing myself, images of Kylo stroking himself on his bed come forth and I feel myself aching again. I can’t believe he was masturbating to me, and like why did it affect me so much.  
I find myself leaning against the shower tiles while my fingers travel down to in between my legs. His moans are still fresh in my ears.

Images of his massive hand around his cock cause me to slip a finger in between my labia and - I wretch my hand away. I can’t despite how much my pussy is pulsing with desire - I can’t.

Frustrated with my feelings I squirt a huge amount of shampoo on my hair and scrub. Then conditioner and then I rinse thoroughly. It’s going to be awkward. He’s attracted to me and I’m going to be really weird about it. I can’t avoid it forever either.

I literally am under his roof.

When I’m finished with the shower, I dry myself and then my hair with the navy towels underneath the sink. I look for a plastic bag to put my wet underwear in but find none.

Deciding fuck it, I wrap myself with the towel and step into my room. I need to find him no matter if it’s going to be awkward, plus he might have an idea of where my phone is. I know that me stepping out to find him with only a towel is risky but at this point, things have to be done.

I make my way past the living room, towards the staircase and then up to the second floor. I feel my hair dripping onto the floor but I don’t care to stop as I advance.

I can see through the windows that the sun has just risen. I must have been in the shower for a long time. Just as I’m about to turn I hear the sound of a loud yawn and then footsteps. I clutch my hands around my towel and look around and then see him.

It's Kylo and he’s half-naked.

Not only are his broad shoulders and chest are on display but he’s wearing black silk boxers that do little to hide the outline of his -

I drag my eyes away afraid that he might have seen me leer at him inappropriately. To think that I had just seen him with his pants down totally naked is doing things to my body.

Kylo doesn’t notice me at first, he’s rubbing his eyes while he walks towards my direction, as he yawns again. His muscled thighs are big and strong, like tree trunks.

He must work out in his spare time.

I see that his bedroom door behind his approaching figure is open, revealing his room. The design is black on black. At this point I’m not surprised.

I don’t move of course because I’m not sure what to say until he removes his hands and then his eyes catch sight of me. His mouth opens and his jaw slackens, before he blinks again and then clears his throat.

Exhaustion is evident on his face and his hair hangs in disarray across his face. He squints at me. “Violet?” He asks, voice hoarse with a lack of sleep. He stops walking and then shakes his hair away from his face.

I can feel the burning heat of his eyes as they take in the fact that I’m wearing a towel and standing soaking wet on his floor. He’s probably not going to be happy with the wet trail of water that I leave on his mahogany floors.

I smile nervously trying to avoid looking at his direction. I find the ceiling much more interesting to look at. “Um, yeah...I was wondering if you had any spare clothes for me? Like even just a shirt and shorts-”

Kylo interrupts, “Oh fuck, shit. Yeah hold on- I - come here.”

I glance at him and notice he’s walking back to his room. I admire his back for a bit and then he looks over his shoulder, “I have some clothes here from an ex-girlfriend. She hasn’t bothered to pick them up.”

He motions for me to come over and I follow.

The room he’s in is very nice. There’s a modern chandelier of lights at the ceiling and a few sculptures in his room. His bed is king-size and this time his bed is well made. Flashes of him masturbating on his bed appear and I instantly shake the images away.

I scratch the back of my nape and cast my eyes elsewhere. Anywhere but his bed.

There’s a large black and white abstract painting just hanging on his wall, it gives off very gothic vibes.

In another world Kylo could have been a vampire by his tastes of things. It would explain why he preferred all things dark. I shouldn't have expected anything else really. The scent of him in the room is potent. All musky, spicy and masculine and it makes my senses heightened. It reminds me of when I had first met him.

I stand at the doorway and watch as he looks through his cupboard, and then he makes a satisfied sound before pulling out a red bag. He opens it and then takes out a flimsy black dress and a cardigan. He brings it to me as he walks closer, clearly unbothered that I’m seeing him half-naked. I’m almost tempted to tell him to put some clothes on, but I don’t.

I catch his eyes wandering all over my body as he places them out in his hands. They start from my neck where he pays a considerate amount of time and then trails down to the edge of the towel but only for a split second and then he raises his obsidian gaze to mine. There’s desire, and lust and need as he swallows - his adam's apple bobs and for some reason I’m entranced by the movement.

Something feels different now. As if there's confidence in the way he watches me now, like he's past the point of caring. There is no subtlety, it's only 'want' that I can feel coming from him.I try not to shudder under his gaze. My skin feels like it’s burning underneath his eyes despite the cool drops of water from my wet hair that cling to my skin.

“This is all that she left. If you're not comfortable I can give you one of my shirts or t-shirts if that’s what you prefer.” He says throatily as I take the clothes from his hands. I glance at him.

He's still half-naked in front of me and it makes me sweat at the base of my spine.

His body heat is like a furnace. When I look up, he is towering over me. His face is closer than expected. I only need to take one small step and my body would be flat against his. I open my mouth to respond when his eyes latch greedily onto my lips. Darkness overcomes his face and his nostrils flare. “Fucking hell. You shouldn’t have come up here only wearing a towel.” He says huskily. His aura changes so fast that I step back immediately and he follows. I feel whiplashed at the differences in energy, as if he had peeled off a layer of himself to reveal the dark things lurking inside.

It came out of nowhere like a switch, and I swallowed down the mess of thoughts that jumped like a hurricane inside my head.

For a moment I'm confused, excited, and slightly scared. I also feel the pulse in my throat leap with anticipation. No way he was going to do what I think he’s going to do. Hux’s words conjure in my head again and I think of the bigger picture.

There is an intent in his eyes. I don’t even have time to move away when he abruptly wraps a strong around my waist and pulls me to him. My hands come up in between me and land on his chest. The fast movement causes me to accidentally let go of the clothes causing them to drop on the floor with a soft thud.

What the hell is going on?

His skin burns against my flesh like iron and I give him an incredulous look. Fear rises in my chest and threatens to overwhelm me. Wasn't this what I wanted? But it feels wrong and yet right at the same time.

I gasp and give him a pleading look “Kylo please don’t. Please-”

He lets out a low strangled noise as he tightens his hold on me. His eyes are so black that they seem bottomless, “I have to- I have to get you out of my system. You have no fucking idea the things Iv’e been wanting to do to you.” It’s guttural the way he says those words, and it does nothing but encourage the red alarms ringing in my ears. He licks his lips. Any sign of exhaustion on his face is gone, instead arousal soaks his features and he inhales in deeply.

I struggle against his hold, he’s breathing is heavier and I freeze when I feel a hard bulging erection against my stomach. Fuck oh my god. My mind freezes. So that's what a cock feels like, and even through his boxers the towel is hardly a barrier for me to feel the outline of his dick.

Is he going to rape me? Terror runs through me and I struggle against him again, “Please Kylo, please don’t.”

He groans, “I've wanted this for so long- since the day I first saw you. Your fucking gorgeous eyes, your body, those legs, your sweet little cu -” He grinds against me and I whine causing him to swear.

“Fuck baby, I can’t help myself I have to-” He leans down and kisses me - no devours my mouth. All lips, tongue and teeth as he ravages me. I'm too in shock to do anything. My brain freezes and he takes my soft yielding mouth as encouragement because he angles my head with his other arm and shoves his thick tongue inside, passing my teeth so that it can curl against my tongue.

He probes it with no finesse and a lack of the tentativeness I would have imagined to be the ideal in a french kiss. But who was I kidding? I didn't know much about kissing either even though I had mine at 14 years old.

My first kiss had been soft and barely involved tongue, and so this was on a whole other level I wasn't prepared for. Kylo groans against my tongue. I can feel the rumble and vibrations in his chest as he makes noises of satisfaction against me.

Suddenly I realize I'm having trouble breathing and so I beat my fist against his chest as he steals my oxygen. This all happened so fast.

Up close his eyes are closed as I panic against him. He thrusts his tongue in and out with no rhythm at all, and sucks my bottom lip with fervor. My neck aches at the angle but there's a quick slip of moment where he pulls away and gives me a chance to speak but it isn't enough time.. I don't even have time to register how he tastes before he kisses me again, as he crushes me against his chest again. My breasts ache against him both in pleasure and slight discomfort.

"Mffff - top it! Stop it Kylo!" I cry against his lips and he leans his face back. I ignore the feeling of my swollen lips, the wetness there and his saliva coating my lips. I don't mean to flick my tongue out and taste but I do and it attracts his attention like a bee to honey.

He's like a solid wall that is built from steel. His lips are the only soft things that have touched me. The thought is terrifying.

I beat my hands against his chest the more I panic. I don't even notice the fact that tears are pooling in my eyes until I feel them against my cheeks.

He's looking at me with wide eyes, chest heaving like he's been carrying a huge weight on his shoulders. He opens and closes his mouth before he lets go. Understanding comes between us as he rubs a hand over his features in horror. There's a terrible realization that overcomes him, and then he runs his fingers through his hair.

"Fuck, fuck fuck. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't." He speaks in a broken and rough voice."Fuck I'm sorry Violet. I'm so fucking sorry."

I stand there frozen, letting the tears fall. My mind is a mess. All I can think about was how fast he grabbed and kissed me. How easy it was for him to take me, and what he could have done. He could have ripped the towel and fucked me, he could have sucked bruises into me but he didn't.

He paces in front of me and then gives me a melancholic look. It's like a black cloud overcomes both of us and I feel a pang of guilt in my chest again. I understand he feels bad and for some reason despite my messy emotions I don't blame him - or maybe it’s shock and I just needed breathing space to think about it. However I take the chance as he gives me a sad look, that grips me and I let out a shaky breath.

"I'm going to the kitchen," I whisper before stooping down to pick up my clothes. "I'll be waiting for you." My breaths are shallow and those words are the only ones I can think of.

I avoid his gaze and then depart away from him and down the staircase. I wipe my eyes and head to the bedroom with my fingers against my swollen lips where I can still feel the taste of his mouth against mine -invading mine.

I close my bedroom door and immediately change. I toss the towel on the bed and slip on the black dress. It smells like vanilla and jasmine. I also put on the black cardigan. The dress reaches my knees and I sigh in relief. I go to the bathroom and check my hair and face in the mirror. My hair is still damp and wet so I do three rounds of toweling.

When I'm done I hear the sound of dishes in the kitchen. I hang the towel in the rail and then bundle my worn clothes and place it on the bed. I needed a bag to put them in. After that I leave the bedroom. When I come out I see Kylo in front of the oven with a pan and a spatula. He hears me because his body stiffens as he has his back faced towards me, but then he eventually resumes.

He’s changed into new clothes and his hair looks freshly washed. Just like the rest of his home, it is inky black. This time he’s wearing a long-sleeve black shirt and blue shorts. I hesitate from approaching him but I ignore my feelings and step around the kitchen bench. He’s heating up the butter on the pan, and beside him he has a carton of eggs, milk and onions.

I’m close enough for him to reach out to me again, but he doesn’t give me a side glance. Instead, he continues rolling the butter around while he holds the end of the pan. He’s ignoring me. I bite my lip anxiously and then open my mouth to say something. Words are stuck at the base of my throat.

I’m not even sure what to think - what to say to him. In the silence I watch him. When I first met him, I thought he wasn’t attractive really. I thought he would just be another actor that belonged to dad’s crew and that I wouldn’t see him again. But things have changed dramatically. The car accident - the restaurant - the kiss.

He even carried me to bed, but he was a man. A grown man who was at the peak of his career - a wanted man by employers in the industry - by women of all ages and here he was. Hux’s words were right - he was going to mess up his career because of me and I didn’t want that for him. To be accused of pedophilia.

My words come out and I can’t stop them. They feel like a river of emotions. “Kylo I forgive you for that kiss, and you know what - don’t beat yourself over it because some part of me liked it. But it was all so fast and scary and good - but I think that you know that it’s wrong - illegal. It’s like a fantasy but the reality is that - it could cost you your career, you're a bright actor who everyone wants.” I pause to gather my thoughts, “You could get any woman you want - anyone and I don’t want you to have to look back and regret this- maybe you could wait - wait for me till I’m 18 - just another two years. I - I think that I want you back too - physically, intimately and - please don’t think that we should stop talking but-”

“-You meant it? You want me back?” He asks and it’s the way his voice sounds broken like he can’t believe it when he stares at me. He stops working the oven and turns it off, before he faces me, an expression filled with surprise, hope. His lips part and then before I can comprehend what’s happened he wraps his arms around me and smothers me.

“Yeah, yeah I do.”


End file.
